Why Me?

Chapter 45

"you agree?" Chris asks me
"yeah I do" I tell him
"so we are aborting" he repeats
"should we at least go to a ultrasound?" I ask him
"I think so it will make sure we definitely want to abort" he says
"that's true I guess, even though nothing will change my mind" I speak
"you never know, even if you did want to keep the baby we could do it, we are mature enough" he reminds me
"Chris we can be mature but most of the time we are typical teenagers, partying and sex" I say
"Yeah I know, are you sure you want to abort?" he asak again
"yes, we are too young, I know I'll probably hate myself for killing a human being but theres no other choice" I tell him
"wait are you?" I ask
"I agree with whatever you decide" he says and I sigh, his leaving all the decisions up to me and that's the one thing I hate, I cannot make decisions if my life depended on it.
"well if I said I wanted to keep it how would you feel?" I ask
"I'm not sure, but I know ill love the baby so it wouldn't matter" he tells me
"hmm yeah" I look at the ground
"don't be upset" I raps me in a hug. I pull away and walk over to stand in front of the mirror, I pull up my shirt and stand sideways facing looking at my belly. I can see a little bit difference but nothing that anyone other than Chris would notice. I every time I look at my stomach I want to cry, it has scars all over it. the scars aren't the worst scars, they are faint but I can see them. every time I see them is a reminder of that old creepy guy in the park, my last pregnancy and how I lost the baby, and of course the pain I went through to get passed all that. my body figure was never great but now its terrible.
"I hate my body" I pull my shirt down
"I love it" Chris replies
"Its covered in scars, stretchmarks and memories I wish I could forget, now another scar is going to be added to the others" I look at them again
"The smaller the baby, the smaller the operation remember, we can get into a ultrasound today then the hospital to book in a abortion after that okay? the sooner the better babe" he says
"thank you for staying with me through all this" I thank him, I stop looking at my belly and look at the engagement ring on my ring finger.
"of course in going to stay with you, I love you" he reminds me
"love you too" I smile at him
"I never thought it was possible to love someone this much actually" I continue
"The feelings mutual" he gets up and hugs me
"I love you so frekin much baby" I hug him back
"I loved you more" he pulls me closer to him
"Want me to call the doctors for the ultrasound and book in a abortion at the hospital?" He asks
"Are you sure? I can do it if you want" I tell him
"What kind of fiancé would I be if I didn't do it" he kisses my head
"You always seem to do everything, I feel bad"
"Don't feel bad, I like doing things for you" he smiles
"I'll try to do more for you" I tell him
"No need babe" he smiles
"I am" I laugh
"alright you can attempt to, but I do everything for myself"  he says
"yeah yeah" I chuckle
"I'll go call them" he grabs his phone
"Thank you" I say while his walking out
What if I start to love this baby? What if I regret getting an abortion in a few months? I know I can't have a baby but I don't know anymore. We will be 18 when we have the baby so I guess it isn't too young, and we can travel with the baby when he or she is older, and I can have a little flower girl or the little boy should carry the rings down for us. I need to stop Chris before he books in a adoration appointment.
I quickly walk down the stairs and see Chris in the phone
"Chris don't make an appointment for an abortion" I whisper
"It's the ultrasound" he mouths back
"Okay" I whisper
I want to actually talk this out with Chris, maybe he will want the baby and I'm just making him not want it.
After a few minutes on the phone Chris hangs up
"Why aren't I making an appointment?" He asks sitting next to me
"Do you want this baby?" I ask
"Do you?" He replies
"Chris I asked you, do you want this baby? Like do you think we could do it?" I ask
"I think that whatever we out our minds to we can success at" he says
"Yes or no?" I ask
"Yes, I think it wouldn't be as bad as we think" he says
"You think?"
"I know" he wraps his arms around me
" so we aren't going to abort?" I ask him
"I think we should wait around 4 weeks, then decide" he says
"Yeah okay, when's the ultrasound?" I ask
"Tomorrow at 10" he replies
"Okay, its 4 o'clock what do you want to do?" He asks
"I'm we could go out for dinner? Get the boys and go laser tagging? Or ice skating?" I suggest
"Sure you call Jakob I'll call Ethan" he says but changes his mind
"Actually I'll call Jakob" he says quickly
"Why?" I ask
"Nothing don't worry I'll call him" he says
"do you not trust me to talk to him?" I ask him in disbelief
"He likes you still, I don't trust him and what his capable of doing" he tells me
"Do You trust me?" I ask him
"Yeah" he simply replies
"Then trust me when I say you can trust jakob" I tell him
"Okay, I'll call Etho" he picks up his phone and puts it to his ear
I scroll through my contacts till I see Jakob's name, I press it while laughing at his nickname, putting the phone to my ear
My smoking hot best friend 💖 summer
Hey summers what's up?
Need to get my mind off things, come out for dinner with Chris and Etho?
Yeah sure where and when?
Uhh grill'd? 5 o'clock then Lazer tag after?
Of course grill'd, yep see you then
Bye jake
I hang up the phone and walk into the bedroom overhearing chris' conversation with Ethan
"No man I just don't want her making that mistake again, around him she gets this spark in her eye that she doesn't get with me" I hear him say, I stand in the door way and listen to him
"No man seriously pay attention tonight you'll see it, it isn't that I don't trust her because I do it's just she changes around Jakob and I don't know if I can trust her around him" I can't believe him, he doesn't trust me around Jakob?
"It isn't a sister and brother bond Jakob there's something going on" he turns and see's me
"Ethan I gotta go" he rushes and hangs up the phone
"Summer I didn't mean it like-" I cut him off
"Really Chris? You don't trust me around Jakob? You and I have been through everything together and because one time I had a fling with Jakob you don't trust me even a year after it happened? What does it take you to forgive me? You already got me pregnant" I sigh walking downstairs and sitting on the lounge
He didn't follow me down stairs, he didn't call after me, he didn't do anything. Chris always follows me after any fight or anything, no matter how big or small, why isn't he now?
"Summer?" He calls out walking down the stairs, there he is.
"What?" I turn around
"I don't mean it like that, can we just talk?" He sits next to me
"Are you just with me because I'm pregnant?" I ask
"What of course not I love you" he says
"But you don't trust me" I complete his sentence
"I do summer, it's just you change around Jakob and You get this spark that you don't get with me" he says calmly
"I get everything with you, to butterflies when you compliment me, I shock every time you kiss me, I feel like the happiest girl ever every time you even hold my hand Chris, do not accuse me of liking Jakob because you know that isn't true" I spit at him, great... mood swings.
"I know you don't summer I'm sorry" he sighs
"Are you really or are you just saying that because you know I'm going to win this?" I say
"I believe you summer, I love you and you love me and that's how it's always going to be, me and you forever" he hugs me
"I know. Sorry for getting angry, I should of just asked you" I mumble
"Never be sorry, it isn't you it's the pregnancy" he says, for a few minutes I forgot I was pregnant, like was normal again...it's changed forever now.
"Can Ethan come?" I ask
"Yeah, can jakob?" He asks back
"Yeah" I reply watching his facial expression, his jaw clenched then relaxes within a few seconds and lets out something that I don't know if it's a sigh or letting out a deep breath.
"Chris?" I ask
"I'm fine, let's get ready" he smiles, I know there's something else in his mind but I'll let it slide...for now.
"Alright, what should I wear?" I ask him walking to the room
"Uhh that blue dress looks really good on you" he says pointing to it
"It's really tight" I mumble
"Tight looks good on you" he squeezes my ass
"Not when I'm pregnant and people can see my bump, and don't fucking touch my ass ever" I start to yell turning around, realising what I said feeling instantly guilty.
"What the hell?" He asks stepping back raising his voice a little
"I'm sorry I didn't mean that, I'm sorry I'm sorry Chris, I'm so sorry" I apologise
"Do you hate me for getting you pregnant? Do you want me to leave you? What do you want summer cause you haven't treated me nice all Afternoon" he says
"Chris, I'm sorry alright, I'm happy one second and angry the next and your the only one here so of course I take it out on you, Chris I'm really sorry I love you, of course I don't want you to leave me" I say starting to tear up
"I know I said you shouldn't be sorry for taking your anger out on me but I didn't know it will hurt this much about my fiancé yelling at me" he says softly
"Now I feel terrible" I put my head in my hands and sit on the bed
"Well so do i" he walks out
"Chris don't leave" I yell out
No reply, he doesn't reply or come back, he walks straight out the front door not looking back once.
I pick up my phone and press Jakob's contact, crying at this point
Hey I'm about to leave to come to yours and Chris's house
Can you please hurry, like now
Summer what's wrong, are you okay?
He left...
What?
Chris left Jakob, please hurry
I hang up the phone and cry harder in my hands, this isn't Chris, Chris would never leave knowing I was upset, he would never act like this. What is wrong with him, I knew he was upset and their was something on his mind but I was so stupid not to ask him, even more stupid to yell at him.
I hear a knock at the door, knowing it's Jakob I tell out
"Come in!" I yell
I hear Jakob run up the stairs and run in the room attacking me in a hug
"Are you okay? What the hell happened?" He asks
"I'm long story I guess" I pull away from the hug
"Do want to tell me?" He says
"It started a few hours ago, he thought me and you where secretly dating or something, or that I liked you and I don't, apparently we act different around each other which is bullshit, then we made up and I asked him what to wear tonight. He told me to wear this really tight dress and I said no, then he said that tight looks good on me and squeezed my ass, I don't know why but I snapped, I said that it can show my fucking belly bump and for him to not touch my fucking ass, I never care about him touching my ass, never, but I just snapped, then he asked me all these questions like 'do you want me to leave you because you treated me like shit for hours' and left" I say
"He shouldn't of left, you have mood swings he knows that" he says
"Apparently it hurt him too much and left" I say
"Left as in you or the house" he asks
"I'm not sure" I say tears about to spill
"He loves you, he won't leave you" he comforts me
"I know, I'm hoping" I fake a smile
"I'll call him" I sigh picking up my phone
It rings a few times and he picks up, doesn't say anything but at least he answers
"Chris I'm sorry" I say softly
"No I'm sorry, I told you to take it out on me, it won't happen again I promise" he says
"Where are you I'll come get you" I say
"I'm only in the back yard, I didn't want to leave you in case something happened" he chuckles
"We'll get your cute ass in here and kiss me" I laugh
"Alright I'm coming, i love you" he tells me
"I love you too, oh and Jakob's here sorry" I say
"I know I saw him come in" he chuckles
"Okay, hurry up I miss you and your McDonald's hair" I laugh
"Don't judge the hair" I hear the back door
"It's handsome don't worry" I say and he hangs up
I hear him walking up the stairs and he opens the door walking fast towards me
I stand up and walk over jumping onto him, luckily him catching my under my thighs
"I'm so sorry" I apologise
"Don't be, you could kill me and I would still love you" he squeezes me tighter
"I love you so much" I say
"I love you too" he replies
"Oh and I'll never stop you from touching my ass" He whisper leaving a long soft kiss on his neck, I feel one hand move lower till it rests in my ass, I smile at him and he holds my waist
"Your perfect, maybe not to everyone but you are for me, that's all that matters" he smiles
"I love you so fucking much" I tell him
"I love you too beautiful, your the only one for me" I hug him
"As you are for me" he smiles
"Well I'm third wheeling" Jakob says
"Sorry" I laugh
"When's Etho getting here?" Jakob asks quickly
"Why is someone excited for him to arrive?" I smirk
"What no" he mumbles
"Wait do you actually...you know" Chris asks referring to him liking Etho
"No dude I like girls not guys" he laughs
"Mhm okay" he replies
"He will be here soon" I reply
"Okay" he chuckles
"I need to get dressed" I stand up
"You should wear the blue dress" Chris tells me for the second time today
"Chris I don't want to, i don't want anyone to know" I say quietly
"Know what?" Jakob asks
"I don't want anyone to know I'm pregnant, and I'm showing" I tell him
"Show me!" Jakob stands up
I sigh pulling up my shirt facing the side and looking down, it isn't very noticeable but I can tell.
"I can see it!" He puts his hand on my belly
"Me too" I sigh
"Hey don't be upset about this, it's a miracle" he tells us
"We might be getting an abortion" Chris tells him
"Why? I think you should keep him or her, I mean this will change your world but it is a miracle" he says
"I don't know what I want, we are going to the doctors tomorrow for an ultrasound" I say
"That's a good idea" he smiles
"It will help us make up our mind" Chris says
"If you don't mind me asking, when did you guys... You know to create this baby?" He asks
"I think it was the night of the proposal, so like 3 weeks ago maybe 4" I tell him
"Yeah it would of been" Chris confirms it
"I don't mean this is the wrong way but why is your belly bigger than a usual 4 week old pregnant girl?" He asks me and I look at Chris
"I don't know I thought it was normal to start getting bigger around now?" I tell him
"We will see tomorrow, everything's fine" Chris reassures me
"Yeah, we will tell you tomorrow what we decide to do" I tell Jakob
"Yeah alright good luck" he tells us
"Thanks" I reply
"The hotties here!" I hear Etho yell from downstairs
"Up here" I laugh
"Coming!" He yells back
I'm hoping tonight goes good, no I have no idea what's going to happen tomorrow, one last good night before our world is turned around.
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SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IM SLACK! I HAD SCHOOL CAMP!
So so sorry comment please if you want me to update and vote if you thought it was a good chapter xx
• 3009 words •