"And she's asleep..." Sarah says gently rocking Addelyn.
"Thank you so much, Sarah! I owe you big!"
"Don't worry about it." Sarah kisses the baby's head, then lays her in her bassinet next to Jessica, beside her brother.
"Alright, I'm gonna go to bed."
"Wait Sarah!" Jessica grabs her arm and Sarah pulls away from her.
Their eyes meet and Jessica looks at her with a sad expression.
"Call me if you need anything."
"Alright..."
Sarah leaves and Jessica starts crying.
"Why did I react that way?! I should have called her!
I don't blame her being upset.. I just.. fuck!" Jessica bangs her fist on the bed.
Two hours later.
Nathaniel wakes up to be fed.
"Come here, baby boy.. you hungry?
Nathaniel quickly turns red from screaming.
"Why are you screaming your little head off? Mama is right here!"
Jessica puts her nipple in his mouth and he makes a loud sucking noise.
"Man, were you starving, little boy?"
She laid her head back and closed her eyes as the baby ate.
This past week has been exhausting, but now that her family was gone, reality was setting in, and she didn't know how she was going to handle parenthood alone.
Yes, she had Sarah, but they're not her babies and she didn't want to depend on her. Plus, she didn't know how long this tension between her and Sarah would last.
Once the baby was fed and changed, he went right to sleep.
Thirty minutes later, Addelyn woke up.
Jessica walked around bouncing her, trying desperately to calm her down.
"Oh baby please go to sleep!" Jessica says on the verge of tears.
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.
"Okay. You're not hungry, you don't need a diaper change.. you gotta help me out here, honey.
Does your tummy hurt? Do you.. uh.. uh.. what else could it be? God I'm a horrible mother!"
"No you're not!" Sarah walks in.
"Huh?" Jessica turns to her.
"You're not a horrible mother! You're just a new mother, so don't ever say that again!"
Jessica just looks at her, and Sarah walks closer.
"Here. Let me take her and calm her down, downstairs. You need to get some sleep."
"It's okay, Sarah. Go to bed."
Sarah just looks at her and Jessica hands over the baby."
"If you really don't want my help, then I'll stop.. but if it's only because of that thing that happened, then cut it out! I said I was gonna help. We had a deal when you moved in that I would help you and that you wouldn't have to do this alone. So you won't!"
"... Thank you Sarah."
"You're welcome.." She looks down at the baby.
"Say goodnight to mommy."
"Goodnight, princess." Jessica kisses the top of her head, before Sarah leaves.
Jessica stays staring at the now empty door way and her eyes fill with tears.
"She really does care.."
***
"What's the matter, sweet girl? This new world is kinda scary, isn't it?
Well it's okay! It's safe here! No one is gonna hurt you!" Sarah smiles.
After a while, the baby calmed down, but didn't go to sleep.
"Look at how alert you are! It's four o'clock in the morning, how are you so wide away?!
I guess that's why mommy never was able to get any sleep the last couple few months she was carrying you and your brother. You probably stayed up all night just playing around, did you?" She giggles.
"... Your mommy... she's quite a lady.
She's been through so much... so much she didn't deserve.
.. I wanted nothing more than to treat her the way that she is and always was supposed to be treated..
I love her, Addy..
It's so hard not to just go up to her and kiss her every time I see her.
I know I can't.. between you and I kiddo.. there will never be someone greater than your mother, and I know it!"
I think.. once she gets the hang of being a mom... I'm gonna go... I'm gonna away.
I really don't wanna leave you guys.. but.. well I can't be around her without being with her.
Maybe that sounds selfish, but I can't do it! She means too much to me, and I can't live with her, knowing that I can't have her.
I'll still visit you guys.. don't worry." Sarah lightly pokes the baby's nose and smiles.
What Sarah didn't know was that Jessica was standing at the top of the stairs listening to everything she said.
