Starting over

Deeper

Valentine's Day.

After weeks of school projects, after school activities, friends, birthday parties, Danny had had enough.  He wanted not only a date night, but also to spend the night with Jessica as every couple should.

Jessica is still currently at her parents' house with the kids.  As much as she would love to move in with Danny, her head is still saying it's too soon.
Jessica was afraid to move her kids once again.  She feared she would mess up what she already had with Danny, she feared of breaking his heart and her children's hearts.  And that was something she refused to do again.

*Dinner*

"I'm glad we actually have the whole night to ourselves.." Danny says from across the small table.

"I know, I'm sorry.  It's just hard with all the kids."

"Yeah.. Jessica, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course!"

"We've lived together before.. why don't you want to live with me?  Then I could help you with the kids.  Plus, we wouldn't have to keep sending Alessia back and forth."

"I told you I want to take it slow."

Danny sighs. "I understand that honey, but I'm becoming impatient.  I love you!  I want to go to sleep with you in my arms, I want to wake up with your hair spilled over my pillow.  I want to make love to you in our own bed.  Not in the car after a date like we're back in high school!  Please, Jess.  Think about it.. what are you waiting for?"

Jessica looks down and begins to cry.

"It's something deeper.  Talk to me, love." Danny reaches across the table and takes her hand in his.  He softly caressed his thumb over the back of her hand ready to hear her speak.

"I'm scared, Danny!" Jessica looks to him with tears pouring down her face.

"Scared of what, baby?"

"Of losing you!  Losing the love we have!"

"Honey, you're not going to lose me!  I would be a fool to leave you, darling."

"What if I do something to fuck it up?  How can you even trust me?  I'm insane!"

"No you're not!  Baby, I know you and I know you would never do that."

"Maybe something's wrong with me, Danny."

"Nothing is wrong with you.  You have anxiety, I can help you through this, honey!  Please.  Let me take care of you.  Let us be a family." Danny takes both of her hands, begging her.

"Danny.."

"I wish you knew how much I loved you.  How much you mean to me."

"I don't want to hurt you!" Jessica sobbed.

"I know you won't, Jessie!"

"I don't want to, Danny, believe me.. I would never Ever want to hurt you!  But look at what I did to Sarah!  I cheated on her, Danny!  She was my wife and I cheated on her!  It doesn't matter if our marriage was doomed or not, it was still wrong!  I hurt her and that is something I never thought I would do.  I promise I won't cheat on you.. but what if I hurt you in another way?  Or what if I get what's coming to me and You hurt me?"

"I could never even Think of hurting you, Jessica!"

A sob escapes her lips. "You're too good for me, Daniel."

"No!" Danny gets down on his knees and holds her waist.

"Jessica, we both deserve each other!  No matter how we came together..We're together and this is how it was supposed to be.  We were meant to be here at this time together.  To have the most beautiful baby girl and to become a big family with us, Alessia, the twins and Dylan."

Danny takes a deep breath and continues, "This is not at all how I wanted this moment to be but, I want to show you what you and this relationship mean to me."

Jessica sniffles and looks down at Danny.

"Jessica, I want you to be my bride.  I don't want you to think you're insane or that I can't trust you.  I want to show you that I do trust you.  We don't have to do it now.. not even this year or the next.. but marry me, Jessica.  Make me the happiest man in the world and marry me!"

Inside Jessica was beyond happy.  But then came the little voices of negativity.

"Danny.. I love you so much.  But I can't." Jessica nods then tries standing up.

"Jess-"

"No Danny!  I can't!  I don't want to get married again.  I will not walk down the aisle for the third time.  And why the Fuck are you proposing now when I'm in the middle of a fucking mental breakdown?!"

"I just want you to know how much you mean to me.  I want to spend my life with you."

Jessica's lips quiver and her eyes fill with even more tears.

"I'm sorry." Jessica says.

"So what now?"

Jessica sighs and looks around the private area of the restaurant they were in.

"I don't know.  But I need help.  I need to talk to someone.. because this isn't normal." Jessica said, her voice cracking.

Danny softly rubbed his thumb on the back of Jessica's hand as he listened intently.

"I'm sorry for freaking out on you but I-"

"Don't." Danny nods. "Don't apologize."

Tears roll down Jessica's cheeks as she nods.

"Hold me?" She asks.

"Of course!"

Danny wraps his arms around Jessica as she sobs loudly.  Jessica is and has clearly been dealing with mental issues for a while now and Danny was going to make sure she got the help she needed before she was put into any real danger.  All he wanted was for Jessica to be back to the happy cheerful woman she was before.

***
If you're not dealing with any kind of mental issues I don't expect you to understand this whole situation.  By Jessica's cousin speaking to her, she set of a tiny spark in her mind that created more and more sparks.  Dealing with anxiety myself, I know that it can be triggered by the smallest things.  What most people feel like is nothing, can be something totally different for me.  It can send you into a depression, one little thing can change your entire attitude for a while.