The Future of Camelot

When They Return

"I certainly can't give Morgana back her memories."

"Oh, Emrys. It's a bit too late for that." Morgan had opened the bedroom door and stared down Gwen and Merlin. But when Merlin looked into her eyes, gone was sweet, determined Morgan. It was the Morgana of his nightmares. Her green eyes pierced deep into his own.

"Morgan? What do you mean? Who's Emrys?" asked Gwen, stepping towards her friend.

"Gwen, don't - " started Merlin, but Morgana had already raised her hand.

Nothing happened. Morgana thrust her hand forward again, but Gwen didn't understand what she was doing. She held the outstretched hand. Morgana started an incantation, but Merlin stopped her.

"It won't work," he said in a bored voice. She glared at him and continued chanting. He watched her recite as many spells as she could, but still nothing happened. Her jaw clenched as she stared at him, a familiar hatred in her eyes.

"Why isn't this working!" she hissed. "What have you done to me, Merlin! What have you done!" Merlin simply shook his head sadly at her.

"I haven't done anything, Morgana. It's you. Your soul has been resting for over a thousand years, and this body has never used magic. Our time is over, Morgana." She shook her head and he was reminded of a young girl, defiant of a rule or fact.

"No. I can't accept that. You just want to bring me pain, as you have always done."

"Do you really believe that, Morgana? Then why would I befriend you in this world?" Morgana started to answer, but Merlin cut her off. "I could have stopped you so many times, but I didn't. Do you know why? Do you know why, Morgana!" he shouted. The anger of one thousand years released itself on the woman who stood as reminder of his early sufferings. "Because you were my friend!"

Morgana stared at him in shock. "Because you were my friend," he repeated quietly. "I didn't want to believe that you, the sweetest person I knew, could ever turn evil. Everyone told me to stop you, but I couldn't believe in your guilt."

Morgana's face was a mask of hate and anger and pain. She was the woman he had killed.

"Morgan?" said Gwen in confusion. "Merlin, someone tell me what is going on!"

"The magic," Merlin realized. "I used magic on Morgan, and she regained her memories. I'm so sorry, Gwen. Your friend is gone. Morgana has returned, and she can't come back from that."

"Nor would I wish to," smirked Morgana. "I will find a way to get my magic back, and when I do, I will defeat you, Emrys!" Morgana stepped forward, but fell onto her knees. Her bright eyes were unfocused.

"Morgan!" cried Gwen just as the other woman collapsed onto the floor. Merlin put his hand on Gwen's shoulder when she knelt beside her friend.

"I'm so sorry, Gwen. I didn't know this would happen." Together they carried Morgana to the bed and Gwen pulled the covers gently over her. Gwen was silent. Finally she sat protectively beside Morgana and said,

"Do magic on me. I don't care what, just give me Guinevere." Merlin shook his head.

"No, Gwen. I told you, I can't do that to you."

"You have to! I have no reason to hate or fear Morgan, but Guinevere does. She knows the woman my friend has just become. I have to, Merlin! If Morgana is as bad as you said, then Albion is in danger, and Arthur will soon return." Gwen's speech reminded Merlin of Guinevere's spirit and stubbornness. "Please."

Could he do this to her? Could he give his friend years of suffering just so that they could prevent - Morgana. She was the first true evil Merlin had ever known, and for that, possibly the worst. In his lifetime, there had been thousands of terrible people with even smaller hearts than Morgana, yet she had forever scarred Merlin.

If anything was worth giving Gwen the life of Guinevere, the return of Morgana was.

Merlin placed his hands on Gwen's tense shoulders. He cast a brief healing spell on her for the wound inflicted upon her by the beast earlier. She took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, falling back upon the bed. Her eyes flashed open, and Merlin could see the years come back to their rightful place. Merlin touched her arm.

"Gwen? Gwen, are you alright?" She sat up slowly and looked at him.

"Merlin?"

"Yes! What do you remember?" He tried not to push her, but he had been a scholar for too long to let this amazing phenomenon go by without investigation. More than that, she was one of his best friends.

"Everything. I remember everything. From my earliest years to my last breath. Arthur! How long has it been, Merlin? Oh!" she gasped, "so long! I remember two lives. One in Camelot, and one here. Morgana! Gwen of this world is fading fast. I know only that she is called - Morgan, by this world. And she was like my Morgana - sweet and kind as the years are long. Oh Merlin, I remember a lifetime! It is so much! Merlin?" she said softly, and fell into a dead faint.

By himself, Merlin shifted Gwen until she was lying next to Morgana on the bed. He stroked her hair softly, but she didn't stir. He walked to Morgana's side of the bed and looked at her. She did move a little under his gaze. He sat down where Gwen had before and took Morgana's hand. There, surrounded by his world, he fell asleep.

0O0O0O0

Morgana woke with an unfamiliar weight upon her legs. Her eyes fluttered open to see Merlin curled up at the foot of Gwen's bed, and Gwen fast asleep beside her. Gwen's bed. She remembered being Morgan, but it slipped from her mind when she tried to grasp it, like water. She remembered clearly the life as Morgana. Merlin thought she was full of hate, but there was so much more to it than that.

She had always sought love, and nothing had ever changed that. Her hatred was not because of heartlessness, but rather because of betrayal of love. There was a time when she had loved Arthur and Gwen, and even Merlin and Gaius. Morgana had loved Morgause dearly, yet all her enemies could see were the deaths they caused. Morgana put so much strength into her love that any betrayal or idea of betrayal affected her greatly. Uther betrayed her, and he had to pay. The little people didn't matter; they were collateral damage. That is what she told herself at the beginning, and eventually she believed it. The idea of Gwen upon the throne that was rightfully hers had been a betrayal, and Morgana had done what she could to stop it.

Agravaine had offered some security and company, but it was no great loss when he died. Aithusa had been her first true friend since Morgause, and a true friend she had been. Then Mordred came back, and Morgana had once again found dear friendship.

Morgan had friends too, but no family or anyone compared to Gwen. She had been raised by nuns in an orphanage in Ireland. She'd moved to England for secondary school and made instant friends with another orphan, a girl whose father had recently died. Nobody had ever been as close to Morgan as Gwen, and vice versa.

The things she felt now for Gwen Morgana attributed to subconscious memories of Morgan. She remembered hating Gwen more than anyone except Emrys, until she enchanted her. It had been so wonderful to have her oldest friend back, but after Gwen had been discovered, she had despised her again. Now, she could not find any way to hate Gwen as she once had. Perhaps because she now had nothing to lose. In Camelot she had craved the throne, but now what did she have that Gwen could take? A small flat in Glastonbury a few kilometers away from Gwen's own? She didn't even have magic. If she did, she would in an instant slay Merlin and take the world, but now Merlin lay at her feet so much more powerful than she.

"Merlin," she said quietly, checking if he was awake. Finding that he was not, she talked to him in the hope that her words would give him nightmares. "I shall never forgive you for what you did. You knew of my magic, and yet you kept silent. You could have spared me so much pain - we could have learned together! - and yet you said nothing. The kindest thing you did to me was kill me, and even then I have been brought back because of you."

A recollection of Morgan hit her suddenly.

"I said Arthur. I said Arthur, and the beast attacked us. Words are the key. Oh, Emrys, I'm going to have a wonderful time killing you when I figure out what to say to bring my magic back."