Suppose to Keep a Secret

Part 25

Its the last day of school, and today I walked. I told Staz not to pick me up today. Which he replied with "Are you mad at me?" and im not. Sorta... I dont have a reason to be other than the fact that most of its Jareds fault. He came into my house... While I came in Staz, hahaaaaa... That was bad; sorry. But still! Jared always tries to fight someone. (mostly Staz) 

I never thought of Jared as the jealous type. Although hes also been trying to talk to me. But not like calling me a faggot in every other sentence, or trying to suck my dick. To be honest, I have Jared by the balls. Who knows.

As I was walking through the gates of the school, I saw Jared getting out of his car. I tried to avoid him, but he saw me. He called me over. Its like he knows when im near.

"Yeah?"

"Can we talk real quick?"

"Are we gonna talk about our soon to be restraining order? Or-"

"Just a regular conversation... Damn."

"Yeah, but what do you want?"

"You hit me yesterday-"

"Yeah, you deserved it."

"Let me finish talking, fuck. I understand im pretty shitty."

"Yup."

"Anyway, I wanna start seeing you again. I dont care what my team thinks."

"Uh... You are aware that im seeing Staz, right? Even if, I want nothing to do with you."

"I just wanna sleep with you, thats it. I dont need all of this "I love you" crap. Friends with Benefits."

"Well thats hard to have benefits if you already have feelings for me."

"What makes you think I have feelings for you?"

"Beating up my BOYFRIEND, breaking into my house, not leaving me alone since my mother found us. The list goes on."

"Whatever. What do you say about it though?"

"Ill think about it."

"What if I need to know now?"

"You dont."

The first bell rang. 

"Bye, Jared."

"Can I walk you to class?"

"I guess. Try something and I swear-"

"Yeah yeah."

Jared and I were having an actual normal conversation along the way. We were walking for a while down one of the long hallways and I could already see Staz along with other students. He was walking with Alondra. Alondra and I made eye contact and she hit Staz's arm to get his attention; to which he looked up and saw me but I had to look away, I could already tell the look he had on his face. Maybe I didnt know what look he had. I could've be between angry, surprised or sad. I'd never want to hurt Staz. And its not like I'm attempting to. I'm just walking with Jared.
The second bell rang and I could hear Staz calling me. I kept walking. I had to. This isn't that big of a deal, but it feels huge in my heart. Everything feels heavy, I shouldn't hang out with Jared.

"Jared, we shouldn't really hang out. Its just weird... You know? You're trying to get back what we had, and that's just not gonna work, and I'm not gonna lead you on."

"What do you mean? I couldnt care less if we had benefits, I mean I would like it but I just want to be close to you again."

"Im-"

"Crazy, right? I don't know. I do like you still, I just... Had a change of heart? You might not believe that, but I regret treating you like how before. And beating up Staz."

"I need to think. Bye."

I went into my class room.
What the actual fuck. Is he serious? That's not the Jared I used to sneak around with, who forced me into stalls, behind buildings. What the fuck?
I could feel my phone vibrating, a lot room I could already sense that its Staz asking about Jared.
I pulled out my phone, it was Staz.

"What the fuck were you doing with Jared? You were ignoring me too."
-staz

"Is that how its gonna be? I need answers Kenra."
-staz

"Meet me in the bathroom in 15, Staz. I'll talk to you then."

How do I even explain to Staz that, yeah my ex still has a lot of feelings for me, wants him and I to have benefits, but "JUST KIDDING" he's completely okay with being friendzoned.
15 after I left to the bathroom and Staz was already waiting

"Please explain to me why you were with that asshole?"

"Listen-"

"I know you're probably upset with me from yesterday, but why? It wasn't me who broke into your house. You literally have no reason to be mad at me."

"What? I'm not mad at you. But now I kinda am, who the fuck are you to say who I hang out with? I may not have friends but I'll have you know: theres nothing between Jared and I."

"Then why were you with him a bit ago?"

"Because we were talking! He still very much likes me! And he asked me for him and I to have friends with benefits!"

"You're kidding me right? So you said 'yeah?'"

"Yes. Because I would say 'yeah let's fuck while I have a boyfriend' of course I said that. Because I only care only of myself. I'm selfish. I'm so selfish that I felt heavy for walking with him in the first place. I felt heavy that I told him 'I don't wanna lead you on,' telling him 'that its weird' fucking telling him 'we should be friends. And only friends' because I said 'yes' to cheating on my boyfriend, who should very well know I wouldn't."

"Kenra-"

"No, its my last day till I'm gone for three weeks. And that's all you have to say to me? Is that I would love to cheat on you. Don't be surprised if I dont call you while I'm gone."
I stormed out.