Just Random Stuff

Who Tf Is I?

Hi. So my name is [wait I don't have a name].

Some people might be confused. Some might not. Cast your mind to last year, my second (maybe) post titled "Do You Know Who I Am?" I said my name is Isabel and I recently turned 13. Yeah, well that is all complete bullshit. So my bday is in the beginning of September, so that post must be around then. In the space of six months (September to February), I've changed so much and accepted myself a bit more. And that's really important. I'm glad I'm accepting myself and realising who I am.

So I hate my body. My body is just not who I am. I am not a female, with a female body or a female mind. I am a man, with a female body, and a male mind. So basically I'm a transgender ftm (female to male). Simple? Nope. Not really.

I've been experiencing extremely bad body dysphoria (search it up if ya don't know it m8). I've been binding my chest using a bandage** that I got on Monday 13th Feb, except the bandage is shit and doesn't stay still. I can't get a proper binder because if my parents found out I would be dead (I brought up Caitlyn Jenner in conversation and they didn't like it).

So yeah, my pronouns are he/his/him and not she/her/hers. I don't go by the name Isabel (that name honestly makes me feel so sick) any more. I'll be trying out the name Adrian. Basically you know how lots of transgender people try and get their name to be similar to their birth name/dead name, I can't think of anything other than Issac, but I don't really like that. I used to read these horse books constantly with the main character being called Izzy. She had a cousin called Adrian, and I really like the name. It makes the most sense to me. So yeah, I'm going to be trying out the name Adrian and see if it suits me and if I really do like it.

I'm not out to any of my family, not even my sister, who I'm close to and tell her almost anything honestly. If anyone has like tips or advice on anything to do with being ftm transgender, then please tell me in Le comments please, I need help. I've been through a load of stuff on tumblr, most of it helpful. I've been through a load of random websites, which have been quite helpful. I've also talked to childline about three times since Monday night (it's now Friday (12am)) and that has mostly been helpful,  so thanks.

**It's really bad to use bandages or tape to bind your chest. It's much better to wait until you can get a proper binder, but I know how bad body dysphoria can get and I understand that you just wanna past as a male so bad. I feel you, lad.

p.s if they're any trans people out there, either ftm or mtf, message me on either this or Twitter (DanHas27Chins). Also any mtf girls out their wanna trade bodies, I'll happily do it (even though that just doesn't work, unfortunately).

I need to stop rambling now, so bye.

(this is unedited and kinda rushed (purely because I just need an emotional dumping ground) so sorry for any mistakes and errors (sorry for any grammar errors, grammar police))

Yeah I'm actually gunna go now. Bye.