Just Random Stuff

What Happened Last Night

The eerie silence overwhelms me as the music I was listening to faded out. The silence make me begin to think more in depth about the songs I was just listening to
"All the things that I wished I had not said, are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head."

It made me realize that the music I listen to on a daily base is actually really depressing, sad, worrying even, and I realized how much I could relate to the wonderfully deep lyrics, playing over the gentle sounds of pianos, guitars, the soft beat of drums. 

The eerie silence was soon shattered, when the sounds of a crying mother and angry, half-drunk, shouting teen penetrated through my closed door, and into my unwilling ears. I quickly reached towards my silent phone, about to press play again, when I heard my once-crying mother,
"I'm the only one who does anything around here, I'm the only one who does anything, tries to make everyone happy. No-one things to ever try to help me."
This hit me hard, feeling like I had just been punched. I pulled my hand away from my phone, as if it were a hot rock. Tears sprung to my already burning eyes. We all do try, but she never lets us to things to help.
"You're all just useless, worthless. Listen to this." And my now raging mother slams close my sister's bedroom door, making the mirrors shake, making me shake even more, and filling me with more fear. 

She storms off down the creaking stairs, grabbing something angrily on the way down She yells at us to listen again, and forces the door shut with so much power, that I'm fearful it'll come off it's hinges. I hear muffled cries coming from beyond the downstairs slammed door, I hear loud thuds and huffs from my sister's room, and the floor creaking from next door, sensing my dad going down to comfort my ungrateful mother. I, lay in silence for a few minutes longer, fearing hearing more slammed doors, more angry tones, hateful yells. 

Slowly, I reacted out my hand, not daring to move and make noise, towards my flashing phone. I typed my password in quickly, taking no notice of my notifications, and went straight onto my music, scrolling down to the bottom, before selecting a song, a calm, relaxing one, switching off my phone, and allowing the music to overtake me, overpower me. The tears that had been building up behind my tired eyes were suddenly dropping, like a roller-coaster, suddenly dropping from the highest part. 
The salty teats were quickly running from my eyes, down my nose, my clenched lips, daring myself to remain silent, my wet neck, onto my quickly dampened pillows, sheets. I couldn't stop them doing this to me, I just accepted it, without emotion, only showing emotion in the safety of my bedroom, behind closed door, were no-one cares how many tissues it takes for me to wipe away my tears, they all just assume it's from a cold I was cursed with a few days ago. 

No-one ever cares to check on me, who would care though, for a worthless freak that simply exists under this roof. I don't care for my existence either.