Just Random Stuff

The Shy Øne

Sorry the last one was so short, I didn't know what else to add. 

As I said last time, I'm the one with Social Anxiety. I'm the shy one, who doesn't ever speak to anyone according to my class. I'm also the one who never volunteers to answer and/or help. I got called on a couple of days ago by my science teacher. I was paying attention, but when she asked, I froze up. I did answer the question, no matter how quiet, and luckily I didn't have to repeat myself. I still struggled though. I also had to ask for my passwords in IT twice and I hated it so much.

Like I said, shy one. Some of the boys in class tease me about it, trying to make me speak, and it's really annoying. Honestly, who cares how much I speak. It doesn't effect them, do its just stupid really. Who cares that I prefer music to communication? Cuz I don't. Who cares that I prefer the internet to human interaction? Cuz I don't. But then why do they make such a big deal about it? It just annoys me. Its my choice if I speak or not.

I just don't want the attention. But of course, my plan backfires. The boys try and make me speak, and cause myself to have more attention, because everyone wants to annoy the quiet person. I wasn't like this as such in primary. I had goodish connection with everyone in primary and they accepted if I was quiet or not. I was fine with helping and answering questions of my own free will. I loved primary. High school is just horrible though, no good connections with the class, because of all the groups there are. Of course I'm fine with speaking out inside my group of emo(ish), plebs and loners (sort of), because I feel confident with them all and they help me. Thanks for that.

Have I also said I hate getting into trouble, which is another reason I don't talk that much. I just hate it. Whenever the class was naughty in primary, we would get told off. If we were really, really bad, then the head teacher or Year 6 teacher would come in and shout at us. Yeah... Hate it. 

Anyway, shyness. I can't go anywhere by myself, because that means I have to try and communicate with other humans that I don't know.

I recently got my school report, and once I read through it, I was utterly annoyed. About three teachers were like "Isabel achieves high, and put effort in all work/personal study." Every teacher was like "Yeah she does good but she needs to participate in discussion and answering questions out loud." Like fuck off, so I'm shy, I don't need reminding of it all the fucking time. (Sorry about the rant.)

'Oh, but you can just fix it, just work on stop being shy or get help from someone.' 

Believe me, I have. I've tried to join in more, but I can't. Whenever I try to, I just start shaking too much, and stutter, mess up my words, and it makes me not able to speak properly. 'Get help then.' I have, again. I've spoke to my sister, who is taking Psychology  in college, I've talked to my parents about it, but they just brushed it off. And because I'm so bloody shy, so I can't get profession help. And so the cycle continues. Whoop! 

I'm not exactly happy with the last two parts, but (Robert)idk (that's a YouTuber, he's amazballz but deserves more recognition). I'm currently working on a little book that has been inspired by things I have been reading recently. I wanted to give it a try :p

Like and comment or whatever. I'm so bad at updating stuff. Byeeeeee!