Double Or Nothing // C.T.H

34 ~ Calum

To Thomas, it felt like seconds whizzing past, But to Calum, everything was stretched out so slowly, lasting an eternity. Huh.

~

Things were going so painfully slow, I just want to fast forward to see how it ended.

Thomas had come back a while ago, his face flush and looked dazed. "What happened?"I question and he looks to me, it takes him a second before his eyes focus.

"I'm sorry, what?" He shakes his head, biting his lip. "Oh, I didn't talk to her," casting his eyes on anything but me. He cheeks turned red as his eyes unfocused in thought, and he said a quick goodbye before rushing to his room.

It was odd, but at the time, I thought nothing of it.

Now everything was just, slow.

My room was filled with darkness, mimicking my mood. The only light spilled in from the hall, give the room just a dust of brightness.

Mali insists on keeping my door open, her quite footsteps come to the door, stop and walk back constantly. It made me grit my teeth.

I lay on the bed, my back turned to the door, in frustration. I groan when her foot steps quietly come back and I could feel her presence watching me, see her faint outline on my wall from the hall light. So slow.

My fingers curl around my pillow and I count the minutes she watches me, the red numbers on the clock mocking me, each one lasting forever.

"You don't have to watch me like I'm a fucking child," I snap after 2 minutes without her moving, I had to do something to speed this up.

Her sigh filled the room, adding another pang to my heart, but I ignored it, shoving my face further into my pillow.

"You can't stop me from caring," Mali says, her voice soft and kind like always. She's too good.

I don't reply to that, though I do bite my lip as my eyes slightly sting. I had finally got myself to stop crying not to long ago. It's either anger or tears and I'm tried of both.

I wait for her to leave, but it doesn't happen. This time I sigh.

"Do," She pauses, considering her question before continuing. "Do you know why she say no?"

I wanted to be mad a her question. I wanted my face to burn with anger for her prying, yet it didn't come, she didn't deserve it. My fingers squeeze the pillow harder. I just wanted to feel anything other than the ache in my chest. Anything.

I don't respond right away, my words forming at what felt like a unbelievably sluggish rate- and a low, slow, chuckle stumbled past my lips.

"I guess it's pretty obvious," I pause, my eyes squeezing shut as tears slowly built, pushing against the corners of my eyes.

I take in a shuddered breath, my chest leisurely rising only to fall as I let the air escape. "I'm inadequate, she deserves so much better. She knows it too, doesn't she? She knows that I cause too many problems, that-"

My words fall short as her arms snake around me once again, and I press the heels of my hands to my eyes. Don't cry.

"How could you think that?" Mali asks softly, her fingers tracing circles on my shoulder, I lean into her.

I don't respond, not only because I'm not sure how to answer, but because I'm afraid my tears will fall with my words.