[revising] psycho | yoonmin → BOOK 1

二十 | 秘密 secrets。

***
JEON JUNGKOOK
{10 years ago...}

It wasn't that he wanted to be left alone or wanted to hide from people. He never liked the darkness that surrounded him, but it seemed to follow him around, everywhere like a lost puppy.

You could say he chose to hide away, chose to be someone he isn't, chose to hurt the people he loved. But that wasn't the real truth. Only he was the one he knew the full story, yet he never told a single soul, not even to save his life.

He can still hear the the sounds and echos of his mother's screams and pleas for help, something he was never able to offer her no matter how hard he tried to find a way. It haunted him, laid deep within him, taunting his dreams and tainting them with imagines of death.

The harsh reality got the best of him. He could no longer tell the differences between what was real, and what was not. He was the murderer, he was the one who had killed them. And yet for hours he could sit in a dark room and stare into the flames that had taken their lives.

"Please... don't, no more!"

He would hear his mother beg for forgiveness, once again caught in an sexual act with another man. He couldn't decide which was worse, his mother's daily affairs or the fact that his father would beat her till she couldn't stand anymore.

They both killed a large portion of something inside him, like deep rips to his fragile paper heart. Something that glue or tape could never fix.

Maybe if he hadn't gotten up from his bed, hadn't made his way down the darkened hallway to his parents room. Maybe if he hadn't opened the door, hadn't yelled that single word...

They would still be alive.

With the breath of a single word, everything he ever loved, burst into flames.

"Stop!!"

The crimson scarlet flames licked and bit at their bodies. The blood curdling screams that had erupted from deep within their throats had sent the small boy into pitiful laughter.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop staring into those colors of reds and oranges, like love at first sight. Warm and comforting like sun rays through the trees on a light summer day. Their screams were just like the birds chirping of a spring morning.

Any other boy would have been terrified, sobbing with tears and muffled sorrows. But he only dared to smile and enjoy the moment like he was at a carnival with a few friends.

After the incident, he wanted to see those colors again, wanted to feel the warmth on his skin. No one ever suspected a thing till he was caught with a lighter in the boys bathroom in middle school.

He always felt regret, always felt alone after that. His obsession with fire never seemed to go away but only got worse as the days went by. Each time he sees it, it's a constant reminder of what he had done. He won't forgive himself, but he won't let anyone take that away from him either.

***
{Present...}

Jungkook knew Yoongi wasn't going to leave without an explanation. Of course, Jungkook also thought he had the perfect hiding spot to satisfy his cravings. He was incredibly wrong.

He wasn't sure why he was going to tell Yoongi why he was staring into a match either, it wouldn't be that easy to lie about it.

"Hyung... do you have something that's important to you?"

Yoongi had looked down at the ground, unsure by Jungkook's question. He could only think of Hoseok at the moment,"Yeah, why?"

"Cherish it okay... don't let it.. die."

Yoongi frowned at that, it was already too late. Hoseok was dead, he just didn't know it till now, in fact Yoongi has been questioning who he sees to be real or not.

Jungkook was more calm then he had expected, focusing on each and every breath that passed.

"This is what comforts me the most. Something that can calm me, it's like a drug, Hyung." Jungkook slowly got up, sticking his hands into his pockets and starting to tap the cold cement ground of the basement,"We all have something we like to keep from others."

Yoongi was surprised by his sudden smile that appeared on his lips. It made something click in the back of his mind, somewhere dark and cold.

Who exactly are these people... and what is this place..