Stars [STYDIA AU][editing]

Give Me A Reason

Lydia had spent most of her friday night ignoring calls and text from Stiles and laying on her bed starring at the ceiling. It was like a programmed routine; she would look at the clock, hear her phone buzz, decline the call, and stare at the ceiling. She figured she would be doing the same routine all night before she heard a loud thump against her balcony doors. She reluctantly rolled her body off her bed and tugged at her silk shorts that were probably considered far too short and opened up one of the balcony doors. She shivered at the slight breeze that left goosebumps on her skin, she rubbed her arms with her hands rapidly, but goosebumps quickly returned when she heard a certain voice say her name softly. "Lydia", she looked down to see Stiles who had a look of relieve when the two made eye contact.

To put it simply, Stiles was a mess. He looked like he hadn't slept in two days and she noticed that his eyes made him look as if he had spent quite sometime crying, but she wouldn't dare point that out to him. Without saying a word she walked back into her room and shut the door. She heard him yell out a curse word and she hurried down the steps so she could reassure him that she wasn't leaving him, even though logicically that's probably exactly what she should have done.

She stepped out onto the damp grass, feeling it slightly soak into her long black socks but she decided she would make the sacrifice to listen to whatever Stiles had to say. She was now standing in front of Stiles, internally battling with just how close she should stand in front of him. Her over analyzing was interrupted by Stiles abrupt statement,"I'm a mess". Lydia let out a small laugh and looked up, not quite ready to let her eyes meet his yet, instead she settled for looking at the stars.

"I think I am very aware that you are messed up Stilinski", she tried not to sound bitter, but she knew that bitterness was laced in her voice like venom and she couldn't seem to feel sorry enough to apologize for it. Stiles was used to it though, Lydia was a fierce girl that gave him attitude and bitterness, and he loved it even when it aggravated him to death.

"Lydia I'm a mess okay? I mess up and I know that I do. So I'm just asking, well begging you, to give me a chance to fix this. I know that my reason for why I said what I said is an awful reason but please just give me a chance to fix this." Lydia crossed her arms and furrowed her brows in frustration, "Stiles eventually I'm going to run out of chances to give." Stiles couldn't be mad at Lydia because he had completely understood, one minute he was telling her she hung the stars in the universe and the next he was telling people she meant nothing to him. He was confusing and awful, and Stiles was well aware of that.

Stiles was about to tell Lydia he was sorry for waisting her time when she suddenly spoke up, "I just wish I wasn't so invested in you, I mean you constantly give me reasons to walk away but then you show up and all I want to do is take you back. Stiles I can't keep going back and forth like this. You have to give me a reason to stay because it's not healthy for me to wait around while you decide what you want and while you try your best to be a good guy." Stiles knew that Lydia was right, he was hurting her by his selfish actions. He knew that she deserved much better than him, he was not the man that Lydia needed, but he wanted her so bad every part of him ached without her.

"You need to give me a reason to stay Stiles, because I can't keep trying to justify your actions. If any of this feels real to you, show me that through your actions. Give me a reason not to walk away and never look back again. Give me a reason to fall without being absolutely terrified of it. Stiles all I'm asking is that your actions show me what your words tell me. You want to find your star? then stop treating the entire galaxy like they're all just some ball of gas in the sky, treat them like the star you're searching for."

Stiles had spent so much time of his life laying on his bed at starring at the plastic stars in his ceiling. Each time he hoped and prayed that one day all those stars would make him a better person, they would teach him to be a better man and he would find one special star, the only star that would ever matter. And here he stood in front of Lydia Martin, apologizing to her once again, because he had messed up once again. He was beyond frustrated with himself because for once in his life he just wanted his heart to take over, and not have his mind in the way. He was constantly letting his mind think up new reasons and ways for him not to have what he truly wanted, Lydia Martin. He loved her and he knew that, she was the girl some people search their entire galaxy for, and here she was right in front of him and he couldn't seem to do things right for her. He wanted to be worthy to be with her, but he couldn't ever seem to put aside his pride and reputation. For some insane reason, Lydia couldn't be a strong enough reason for him to change his foolish ways.

When Lydia didn't get a response from Stiles she began to turn and walk back inside, she really wasn't surprised, she didn't expect him to put enough effort into actually giving her a reason to stay. Suddenly she felt a hand grab her arm. She looked at Stiles' hand that had a grip on her right arm, she turned her body to face him and he let his hand gently glide down her arm, his fingertips gently gliding across her palm. She slightly gasped as he slowly slid his fingers between hers, intertwining their hands together. He gently squeezed her hand and Lydia looked up at him to see him smiling down at their hands that were molded so tightly together.

"Look Lydia you don't have to wait for me or give up things for me, I don't control what you choose to do, but I'm begging you to give me a chance. I know you've given me so many chances but I need you to allow me to give you reasons. I know I'm frustrating and complicating, I know that you have so many reasons to leave, but I don't want you to leave. So please Lydia Martin, let me give you reasons to stay. "

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A/N:
HI GUYS, I HAVENT UPDATED THIS STORY IN FOREVER AND I APOLOGIZE BUT IM TRYING TO GET BETTER AND IM JUST REALLY NOT SURE WHAT TO DO WITH THIS STORY, PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK BECAUSE I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING

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PLEASE COMMENT/VOTE. GIVE ME FEEDBACK, ITD MEAN A LOT..I REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT YA THINK OF THIS.
MUCH LOVE❣
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