Tranquility ✧ Syndisparklez

Midnight Murmurs

Tom's steady breathing was quietly humming beside me. The room was pitch black, and I had just woken from another one of my nightmares.

ᵐᵃʸᵇᵉ 'f ʸºᵘ ᵗᵉˡˡ ˢºᵐᵉºⁿᵉ, 'ᵗ'ˡˡ ᵇᵉ ᵉᵃˢ'ᵉʳ

Okay... Okay, I'll tell someone.

"Tom," I whispered into the silent room. "Thomas."

No response.

"Okay... So, sophomore year in high school, was the first time I ever fell in love. My boyfriend's name was James... James Hayes, and he made me feel so happy. I figured that because James made me happy, maybe my dad would be happy for me, and I told him. I told him I was gay... I hadn't mentioned I was dating anybody, when he lashed out at me, so I just saved it for another day. But I was willing to take the punches, as long as I could stay with James. My boyfriend never knew about the way my dad beat me, 'cause my dad was too smart. He hit me where it wouldn't show. Bruises would be hidden under my clothes, safe from the public eye..."

Tom's breathing stayed steady, his chest rising and falling with every breath.

"When James came out to his family, they were so accepting. They loved him still, and they actually wanted to meet me. They were the picture perfect family, that I wished to have. They loved James and I, and they knew that we loved them back. James promised me that one day he'd marry me, so I could be a part of their family. We would move away, so we'd never have to see my dad again, and we'd visit the Hayes family as often as we could."

Tom had rolled onto his side, his fingertips lightly brushing against my bicep.

"James was on the cross country team, so I would run with him after school. It was the only time we really had together, besides school hours. We were walking around the track, and my dad wasn't supposed to pick me up for another thirty minutes, but he showed up early, stormed out on the track and saw James and I, walking a lap... Holding hands. My dad pulled us apart, yelled at James, cursing at him for being the 'faggot that turned his son gay.' He slapped me in front of James, and then made me get in the car, to face the worst beating of my life when we got home."

Tom's breathing seemed to have become short, and sharp.

"So next day at school comes along, James pulled me into the bathroom and told me to strip in the stall. Obviously he saw what had always been shielded. James asked if it was because of him, and I tried to tell him no, but he couldn't take it. He broke up with me, because he didn't want to see me get hurt again. We ended it, despite being madly in love. Then my dad sent me to hundreds of different therapys, dozens of priests, that all gave me a horrible feeling in the bottom of my gut. Feelings that made me feel as if I was in danger, I always ran home from those meetings, afraid what would happen if I had lingered too long without anyone else around to hear me scream."

A small struggling sound came from Tom's mouth, his body twitched.

"So... Now you know," I whispered, focusing on the ceiling fan, ignoring anything surrounding me.

"Jordan," Tom murmured, hugging me close to him. "I'm so sorry."

His quiet sobs and the hum of the ceiling fan lulled me back to nightmare-less sleep.