Tranquility ✧ Syndisparklez

The Visit

"Jordan? Is everything alright?"

I didn't know what I wanted to say to him.

I shouldn't have come here.

"Jordan?" Tom asked, reaching out to touch me.

I felt numb and broken.

"I'm fine," I mumbled. "I just wasn't feeling good... I wanted to see you."

"Oh, well... Come in, I'm sorry you weren't feeling good."

"It's fine, sorry I interrupted your stream."

Tom stayed quiet for a while, leading me to the living room.

"Don't feel sorry," he finally said. "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"I'm sorry I kissed you. Can we still be friends?"

ＮＯ

"Yeah, that'd be nice," I smiled.

"Cool," Tom smiled back at me, but I could sense something more. I didn't understand. He should be happy that I didn't get mad, right?

Why does he seem upset?

"So, uh... Why did you want to come over?"

"I don't know... Just felt overwhelmed with life."

"So you decided to come here?" Tom asked.

"Yeah."

"Why?" Tom asked, a hint of venom in his voice.

"I don't know... I just felt like... I don't know, I thought being around someone would help," I tried to explain.

"I'm sorry, Jordan," Tom started. "I can't do this."

"What do you mean?"

"I love you too much. I thought the reason you wanted to come over was t-to confess something, but you just came over cause you needed a shoulder to rely on?"

"I-"

"I'm not finished. I feel like I can't tell if you're straight, or just leading me on. I understand if you're straight and don't want to be in a relationship, but if you're just trying to get a rise out of me then tell me so I can move on," Tom said, his face burning a soft red.

"No, Tom, it's not like any of that-"

"I can't be just friends with you, our friendship will never be the same after some stupid mistake I made, because I can't read you! That's just it, I can't read you. And-"

Tom's words seemed to fade, a high-pitched ring started in my left ear, blocking out all noise.

' ͨᵃⁿ'ᵗ ʰᵃⁿᵈˡᵉ ᵗʰ'ˢ, ''ᵐ ᵗᵃᵏ'ⁿᵍ ºᵛᵉʳ

ＳＯＮＪ ＤＯＮＴ ＤＯ ＡＮＹＴＨＩＮＧ ＳＴＵＰＩＤ

"Tom, just shut up and listen to me!" I yelled, my hands shaking. "I can explain."

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Telling him the truth.

"Tom, I'm gay, please accept me... I didn't tell you because I didn't know what to do, please don't-"

ＷＨＡＴ ＡＲＥ ＹＯＵ ＤＯＩＮＧ

"You're-"

"Please don't hit me!" I gasped out, holding my arms in front of my face, expecting a slap.

"Why would I hit you?"

"Dad doesn't like it when I disobey him, please don't tell him, I don't want him to hit me again, please don't let him hit me, please don't let him hit me," I sobbed.

"Jordan, what are you talking about, I don't understand," Tom asked, no longer yelling at me. He crouched on the ground next to me, rubbing my back. "I won't let him touch you, I promise."

ＷＨＹ ＷＯＵＬＤ ＹＯＵ ＴＥＬＬ ＨＩＭ?

ＹＯＵ ＫＮＯＷ ＷＨＡＴ Ｉ ＳＡＩＤ ＷＯＵＬＤ ＨＡＰＰＥＮ ＩＦ ＹＯＵ ＴＯＬＤ ＡＮＹＯＮＥ

"Jordan, where is your psychiatrist's office?"