Tranquility ✧ Syndisparklez

Day 4

Day 4

I'm going into the therapist today. I saw that someone else wrote in my journal. I'm afraid to read the words on the pages. I don't want to believe it's true. It's not. I'm me, only me.

I'm not me... If I do have MPD, how will it be fixed?

Can it be fixed?

I don't get it... What did I do to deserve this? I did everything right. I graduated from high school, college, all for what? Some god damn mental disorder?

I'm not crazy, and I don't deserve this.

I shouldn't have this,
-Jordan Maron

I shakily shut my journal, exiting my car.

Breathe Jordan, it's just a visit.

I walked in, checking in at the front desk.

"Doctor Andor can see you now, right this way, Mr. Maron."

The nurse led me to the back therapist room, as usual.

"Thank you, Martha," I said to the nurse, entering the office.

"No problem."

"Jordan! Do you have your journal?" Andor asked.

"Uh, yeah..." I said sheepishly, entering the room. I picked at the leather binding on the journal, taking a seat in my usual spot.

"May I see it?" he asked. I shifted my eyes up, fumbling with my fingers.

"Uh, sure-" I said, quickly handing it over. He flipped to the first page, scanning through it.

"You've been writing every day?"

"Y-Yes sir."

"Signing off every time?"

"Mhmmm."

I sat quietly, watching as Andor read each and every page.

"Have you read these?" he asked.

No, I haven't, but he doesn't need to know that.

"Uh, yeah," I mumbled.

"So, you're aware of the other personalities you have?"

No, I am not.

"Uh, yeah."

"May I speak to Tucker please?"

"What?" I asked. Who's that?

"Tucker. I need you to focus, I want to speak to Tucker."

I listened to Andor repeat his phrase.

My vision blurred, dark dots picking at the air.

I want to speak to Tucker.

Let me speak to Tucker.

Tucker.

Tucker.

Tucker.

"What the hell do you want?" I bit.

"Hello Tucker," the idiot said with a smirk.

"You're wrong. I don't have MPD, you need to go back to medical school."

"So, you quit your job, right?" Andor asked with a smirk.

"Stay the fuck out of my business," I hissed, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Thank you for writing in your journal," he said, with a fake smile. I wanted to erupt out of my chair and slap that smirk right off his face.

I remembered the journal. This bitch gave me a used a one.

"Who the hell is Jordan?" I snapped, standing out of my chair.

"You."

"The name's Tucker, get it right."

"Let me speak to Sonja."

I lifted my brow. Sonja? Sounds like a pretty chick.

"Who's this Sonja?" I questioned, sitting back down.

"You didn't read this, did you?" Andor asked me, flipping a page.

"Nope. Who's Sonja, your girl? She's making a mistake by the way. I could take her off your hands for 'ya. Sounds like a challenge I could take," I said, biting my lower lip.

"I want to speak with Sonja."

"I want to speak with her too," I said, winking.

"Sonja."

"I know her name, sounds like a hottie."

"Sonja."

Sonja.

Sonja.

"Well hello, Andor!" I chimed, flipping my brown hair over my shoulder.

I liked the way Andor's brown eyes sparkled. I liked his hair, his buttoned shirt. I like the fact he's a doctor.

"Hello Sonja. How was your day?"

"Good, it seems like it's been dragging on forever though. Thursdays take so long, can't wait for the weekend, am I right?" I asked, sparking up a conversation.

"Sonja, you do realize it's Friday, right?" he asked.

What? It's Friday?

"Yeah, I knew that, duh," I said, softly hitting the side of my head. I blushed at Andor, as he continued to stare at me.

"Jordan."

I shut my eyes tight.

"What?" I asked, running my fingers through my short black hair.

"Good. You respond to your own name the fastest."

"What?"

"I just spoke to Sonja and Tucker. You might want to read this. Who is Tom?"

"A guy I met. No big deal, he was nice..." I muttered.

"I want you to speak with him. Get to know him, get yourself a friend."