Instinct

Chapter Nine

I watched as Liam left, just as I'd asked him to, and I was thankful. I turned and walked up the stairs slowly, my arms crossed over my chest.

“Ali...” Harry's soft voice followed me up the stairs. I sighed and willed myself not to cry.

“Maybe you should g-go, Harry.” My voice wavered and I actually almost hoped he wouldn't go.

“I don't want to leave you like this..” He replied and walked behind me as we walked into my room. I flopped on my side onto the bed and sighed, closing my eyes and telling myself I didn't need to cry.

Harry stood and leaned against the wall. I could tell he didn't know what to say to me, and I almost felt bad that I was ignoring all of his attempts.

“Ali, it's his fault, not yours.” He finally speaks and I felt my heart sink, the tears no longer under lock and key. My body shook as the realization of everything that just happened hit me like a bag a bricks. The tears slowly ran down my face side ways, falling onto the mattress. I heard Harry shuffle over and sit on the bed in front of me, I tried to hide my face.

“Just come here, I don't care that you're crying...” He commands, but his tone is too soft for me to object. I huff and wipe my tears away, sitting up and leaning against the headboard, Harry did the same.

“Why do I feel like it was my fault then?”

“Because that's the way he made it sound, it's the oldest trick in a guy's handbook.” He replies, his tone so soft and gentle, it's hard to believe I'm sitting next to Harry Styles. I close my eyes and the tears that were building up spilled over, I couldn't care though, I felt like shit.

“He's not worth your tears, Ali.” Harry's hand reaches up and brushes the tears off my cheeks. I open my eyes and look at him.

“What the hell are you doing, Harry? This isn't like you...” I ask him weakly.

“You're my only real friend, I haven't ever needed to act like this before.” He answers and I smile, looking down at my hands and playing with my fingers, Harry's eyes on me too intense.

“I don't know what's gotten into Liam... I miss the old him, the one that cared about me.” I whimper involuntarily, rolling my eyes at myself before going into Harry's arms. It was the most comfortable I'd been with anyone in a long time.

His arms wrapped around me loosely.

“I don't know what to tell you...” He whispers and a sob wracks my body, the tears that fall soaking his classic black t shirt.

“I-I'm sorry, I-I'm getting your shirt all wet.” I stutter out as I try to wipe the tears away before anymore hit his shirt.

“I don't care, it's just fabric.” He tells me and I give up, falling completely into his chest and letting the rest of my sobs out without a thought, his shirt covered in my tears, but he doesn't once complain.

“T-Thank you.” I take a deep breath, trying to compose myself.

“Anytime, it's actually really nice to feel needed for once in my life.” He says quietly and I look up at him.

“What do you mean?” I ask him, my voice a little stronger, but hoarse from all the crying. He shakes his head, “It's not important.”

“Harry.” Is all I say to him, my hand resting on his chest where I'd soaked his shirt with tears.

“I've just never really been needed, it's okay, I'm used to it, so don't make a big deal out of it.” He barely explains and I frown, shaking my head.

“Harry it matters, and I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, but...” I pause and wipe under my eyes, ridding of any smeared makeup. “You should feel needed, by at least one person, at all times.” I finish, and his eyes meet mine.

I look away, embarrassed because makeup is probably still smeared all over my face. But Harry brings my face back to face his.

“What are you doing?” He whispers and I try to look away again.

“I look like shit, Harry. I don't want you to have to look at me like this.” I mumble and bite my lip.

“It doesn't matter. I know you've been crying, I'm not that much of an asshole that I'd make fun of you for not looking your best after sobbing into my t shirt.” He explains and I sigh, looking at him again.

“Thanks.” I say softly, meeting his eyes. His eyes were a soft, more minty green, today. Instead of their usual deeper green. I watched his pupils dilate, making the green ring get smaller.

“You have nice eyes.” I half smile, my hand gripping onto his forearm. He licks his lips and nods.

“So do you...” He trails off, his eyes not leaving mine. I start to realize what we've started here, but some part of me didn't want to stop it. A big part of me, really, didn't want to stop it, and that scared me. I was supposed to be upset over Liam, I was supposed to be worrying about the History paper I haven't started, I was supposed to want to push him away, right?

“Thanks, HarBear.” I smile, and can't help but giggle. It doesn't even phase Harry this time, his eyes flickering from my eyes, to my lips, briefly but I catch it, and now have conformation he was thinking what I was.

“I better go...” He whispers, his minty breath hitting my face, making this all more real.

“Oh, yeah, okay...” I agree, even though every inch of me aches to test what was about to happen. I get up and straighten myself out, wiping under my eyes again. Harry gets up as well and looks at his shirt, smiling, before meeting my gaze.

“I'm really sorry about Liam, Ali. If you need me...” He hesitates and I see it in his eyes that he isn't sure he wants to say, but he ends up saying it anyway. “I'm a phone call away.” He adds and I smiles appreciatively.

He turns on his heel to leave, but my body acts before my brain can catch up. My hand grabs his wrist and pulls him back.

“Harry...” He turns to face me, the distance between us sparse but for some reason I didn't care. I was suddenly acting on impulse and all I wanted was to feel his lips on mine.

“Ali..?” He says curiously and before I can stop my mouth from moving, the words flew out and all I had to do was wait for his reaction.

“Kiss me.”