Instinct

Chapter Twenty

It's really only 8 pm and I'm trying to get to sleep but my brain won't have it. I toss and then I turn. Why me. Why did this happen. I quickly sit up in bed run a shaky hand through my hair. I promised myself I wouldn't cry anymore.

After everything that happened, I went straight home, stripped down, and haven't left my bed since. The small shards left of my heart are barely there, and keeping my composure around my family is making my head spin.

I officially locked myself in my room about an hour ago, shutting off all the lights and staring at the TV in my room blankly from under all my covers. I'll get over it, I know I will. I don't get attached to people for solely this reason, and Harry proved that he's no different than any other man I've been with.

Fuck.

I miss him. Harry is all I think about. He was everything and he made me feel whole, important.

Too bad that was all a fucking lie to win some Lakers tickets.

Slowly, my eyes begin to water again and I welcome the feeling of the tears running down my face. I lay down slowly, covering myself completely within the blankets as my eyes shed unstoppable tears..

Harry's POV.

I blame Liam. He couldn't keep his damn mouth shut for five more seconds. Fuck. I quickly look around the house for my mum's liquor stash. I needed a drink and I needed it now.

“Aha.” I muttered as I reached for the scotch in the back of one of my mum's spice cabinets. I set the bottle on the counter and popped the lid, knocking the bottle back and welcoming the burn in my throat from the liquid as it goes down smoothly.

I sigh and sit down on the couch in the living room. It nice, really, having no one to tell you no. My mum was never home, nor was my step dad, and Gemma is away at college. I smirked to myself as I knocked the bottle back again. I was single again. I had ultimate freedom again. I tried to convince myself of all the pros now that Ali pulled herself from my life and as the liquor ran through me, it suddenly seemed to work.

I reached deep in my pocket for my phone, pulling it out and looking through my contacts. I could already feel the alcohol moving through my bloodstream, clouding my mind from making any good decisions. I put the phone to my ear after hitting the call button on one name I've been avoiding for months.

“Hello?” Her voice comes through the phone small and slightly jumbled to my mind.

“Cara, hey, you busy?” I slur and lay back on my couch, nervously running my hand along my thigh.

A part of me could feel this way a bad idea, but the bigger half of me easily overwhelmed that part. I can remember when Cara gave me her number before the formal. I never thought I'd call it because of Ali, but obviously things change. Bets ruin things..

“Uh no? Why? Aren't you with Ali?” She says and I hear something like a TV turn off in the background.

“Nah, she dumped my ass.” I laugh and look up at the ceiling, putting the bottle to my lips and chugging more of the drink, some spilling out the sides of my lips and dribbling down my neck.

“Oh,” She starts, “so I'm your rebound shag?” Her voice gets snippy and I scowl to myself, letting out a breath.

“No, Cara. I wanted to hang out.” I lie. Wow, lying is becoming a natural thing for me.

“Okay, just text me your address and I'll come over since your obviously drunk.” She states flatly and I can't tell if she's upset or if she's pretending to be.

“Kay..” I say before hanging up and immediately typing in an address. Just before I send, my vision clears and I see that I've typed in Ali's.

“Whoops.” I chuckle and fumble my fingers around on the keys to change it to mine before pressing send. I just hoped it wouldn't take her long to get here..