Crossing The Line

Chapter Twenty

Kelley'S POV

Days have passed since I last had a full conversation with Morgan Brian. It tore me apart seeing her being so distant from me. Sure, we acknowledged each other during practice but it wasn't the same. 

She hasn't been playing soccer the same she just seems so... distracted. I wanted to change that, I wanted to go back to what we once had. Where I drove her around whenever she needed a ride, the conversations we had. I missed that.

I missed Morgan. That's all there was to it.

We would lock gazes and instantly she would look away with her head down and it killed me. It absolutely killed me. I never really knew what it felt like to be lost and alone but Morgan knew what it was like because that's how she grew up and I know she looked up to me which made me feel even worse inside knowing that she was torn up because of me.

But, I felt that pain to. I didn't know you could miss a person so much even though you see them everyday. I let out a sigh as I sat in my car as I watched the team all leave. I looked over and saw Morgan walking along the sidewalk with her duffel over her shoulder. It took a lot of resistance to not drive over and drive her home but it would be wrong to. 

After all, she's the one trying to avoid me.

As I started driving home I thought about Logan. He proposed to me a couple days ago and I said yes and as these past couple days went by I regretted it. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with him. I wanted to be with Morgan and where we are now, I don't think it was possible.

When I got home I saw Logan's car in my driveway. I got out of my car and I took a deep breath as I began walking up to my front door. I had to tell him, I couldn't live like this anymore. I couldn't live a life where I kept on pretending and forcing myself to love someone that I no longer loved. It was hard waking up in the morning with a man that loved me so much but I didn't have the heart to love him back.

I felt bad but my feelings for him were no longer there and it wasn't my fault that I so happened to love someone else and that someone else was a girl. It was weird for me, all my life I was into guys but with Morgan. It was so different. Something about her just drew me to her, it wasn't just her appearance, it was her. The passion she had for life despite what she's been through, her smile, just everything about her was perfect.

I finally opened the door and walked inside my house. I walked up the stairs and saw Logan laying in the bed we share.

"Hey, babe." He says with a smile as he motions for me to join him. I do as he says and he wraps his arm around me and instantly I felt uncomfortable, so, I shook his arm off and he looked at me confused.

"We need to talk." I say as I look away from him.

"About what?" He asks as he turns the TV off and now I know I had his full attention.

"Us." I say as I take a deep breath and finally find the courage to look at him.

"You don't want to marry me, do you?" He asks and I see sadness fill his eyes, not anger, sadness. 

I shake my head no and a single tear rolls down my cheek and like many times before he uses his thumb and wipes them away. 

"Is it me? Is it another guy?" He asks and I just shake my head no. "Then what is it? Did I do something wrong?" 

I shake my head no again.

"Whatever it is just say it, we promised we would be honest with each other." Logan says with a small weary smile.

"It's not a guy, it's a girl." I finally spit out. Logan looks at me and I was surprised when the faintest smile formed on his face.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I get it. I'm not mad, if anything I am happy for you and I support you. We were always best friends to begin with and that won't change, will it?" Logan asks and I just felt so relieved and he surprised at how well he was taking the news.

"It won't." I say with a small smile as he pulls me into him. I hug him back and it felt as if weight was pulled off of my shoulders.

We talked for a little about what our plans were going to be moving forward. He was going to stay in St. Simons Island and move in with one of his best friends who lived up in Western St. Simons Island.

It didn't take long for him to leave. I helped him pack and I gave him the engagement ring that he proposed to me with.

"Find someone else, you deserve better." I say as I stand on my tiptoes and hug him. He hugs me back and when he pulls away he looks down at me.

"Whoever this girl is, just make sure you're happy." He says and with one final hug he was gone and this time I was really alone.

I needed Morgan. I closed the door and pressed my back against it. I felt tears form in my eyes as I stared down at the floor and let my tears fall.