Savoirs

Jason

I was standing in the middle of a field. I knew where I was. I was in the field where my friends had died. Where I ran from the dead. Where I managed to live and the rest of my men didn't. I took a step forwards and dozens of bodies appeared. Some the enemy others my friends and brothers in arms. Glassy eyes stared up at the sky and blood ran from their wounds, staining the ground crimson. I turned around and saw so many more bodies and so many staring, unblinking eyes. I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out and I took a few shaky steps away from the bodies and fell over something. I sat up and saw a dying man reaching towards me.

Blood ran from his mouth and his eyes pleaded with me to end the pain. I shook my head, trying to get the images out and stood. I ran from the men but no matter how hard I ran or how far the bodies were all around me. Tears blurred my vision and I fell again. This time my eyes flew open and I found myself laying on a cot next to the fire place. My shirt was gone and bandages were wrapped around my wounds. Jaclyn was laying against the wall by the fire place and she stirred. Serena was sleeping near the door and Joseph was no where to be seen. Adam and Lia were in a corner sleeping and I tried to sit up. Pain shot through me and I cried out. Jaclyn sat up quickly and looked around panicked. When she looked at me, her face lit up.

"You're awake." She stated and I nodded. She noticed that I was holding my side and gently pushed my hand away. "What happened?" She asks and I shake my head.

"I tried to sit up." My voice was scratchy and hurt my throat. She nodded and leaned back after inspecting the bandage for any signs of blood.

"Don't. You need to rest." She says and I bite back a bitter laugh. I know she was only trying to help and that she had probably worried when we didn't get back when we were supposed too but for some reason the fact that I was being told to rest by anyone made me want to laugh at the ridiculous statement.

"I'll rest when I'm dead." I say and she stiffens. Again I try to sit up but she puts a hand on my shoulder and gently pushes me back down.

"Jason, please don't-" She starts but I cut her off.

"Don't what? I'm hurt don't do anything? What am I not supposed to do Jaclyn? Live?" I snap and she flinches like I hit her.

"I didn't say that." She says and I feel a pang of guilt in my gut.

"Then don't tell me what to do." I say and she looks away. I try to sit up again and she doesn't try to keep me from trying again. Instead she helps me. 

"I was worried about you." She murmurs quietly, checking my wounds and I scoff.

"Whatever." I mutter and she looks back at me with unmasked anger. Tears are in her eyes.

"No. I was worried about you! I thought you were going to die! Do you know how much it hurts me to see you hurt? Do you?" She snaps and I feel anger surge in me.

"Do you know how many wounds I've had in my life? No you don't! You don't know anything Jaclyn!" I snap and the others stir.

"I know that you can't see the reason as to why I'm even still here! I know you can't understand why I'm so scared all the time! I know you can't see past the war! You say I don't know anything but do you know any more than me? I might not know what you have been through but I know that you can't get over that war!" She yells at me. I know she's right but I can't stop the words now. The words had been held back for too long and now that the dam had burst there was no stopping.

"My entire squad was killed! I remember every name and age they had! We were just kids then! We were sent to die!" I yell back.

"I watched my entire family, my entire village, die!" She yells and I was surprised to see anger burning in her eyes.