A LOST LOVE FOUND • alec lightwood [COMPLETED]

CHAPTER ONE

(Not edited and English is not my first language.)

Alec P.O.V:

Pain.

That's all I felt this morning when I opened my eyes. That all I feel every morning, somedays it's worse and somedays it's better. Today it's worse. A part of me didn't even want to open my eyes. The part of me that's dead. To think it's been a year. A full year without her and so many more to come. Tracing over my faded wedding rune I try not to cry, but fail - just like every other time I think about my wife. Silent tears start to leak from my eyes as I think about her. Her blue eyes, her blond hair, her cute little nose, just her.

After about an hour of silent crying I finally get enough strenght to get up. I don't ever bother to change, I just throw a shirt over my bare chest. I normally wear standard hunting clothes but no one will bother with me today and if they do, may the angel help them.

I make my way to the kitchen looking like a mess and ignoring the sympathy stares. There are a few sad ones, like my own. They miss her. Her presence used to lit up a room and her smile made you feel safe. I enter the kitchen, make myself a cup of coffee and plop down on a kitchen chair. Half way through my cup I feel both my arms being interlinked and I instantly know who it is.

My parabatai and my younger sister. They miss her, but no one misses her more than me. Instead of pulling away from the comforting gesture, I welcome it because I need it. We were just there in silence because not one of us knew what to say. The perfect silence was then broken by and annoying voice.

"Wow, guys what's going on here?" The annoying one, also known as Clary, asks in a cheery tone that I do not have the energy for today. Or any other day for that matter. We pull apart and if I had the will, I would have rolled my eyes but I don't have the energy so instead I just sit here staring at my cup. Izzie and Jace stay silent as well.

"The silent treatment? By the way, you three look like crap, you should watch on those late nights. " She questions slightly annoyed but I couldn't care, she annoys me on a daily basis.

"What did I do, kill someone?"  I flinched violently the word 'kill' and my emotionless mask fell of my face as pain filled it. And that was when I snapped but before I could say anything another voice says something first.

"Maybe for once something isn't about you and if you opened your eyes you would see that we look like crap because we're hurting and mourning, not because of late nights!" Jace snaps before me, yelling at the end. Guess I should have seen that coming, on a normal day he ticks of fast, but she is a very sore point for him. All of us, but she was his sister. He stands up from the chair with such force it screeched backwards and he storms out of the kitchen.

Clary just stoodd there wide eyed and still from shock at Jace's outburst towards her - he never snaps at her and always rushes to her defense. She goes to follow him but Izzie stops her.

"Don't" she says softly, but firmly.

"What is up with him today and not just him, you guys and the entire institute. It's like a dark cloud is hanging over everyone. And what does he mean my mourning?" She questions frustrated, throwing one hand up in the air and the other she rakes through her hair.

"What does people usually mean when they say their mourning?" I ask retorically - my voice was snarky and sarcastic but if you listened close enough, you would catch the heaps of pain in it.

Izzie glances at me before asking me, "Are you going to tell her or should I?"

I sigh heavily thinking if I really wanted to say anything? I haven't even spoken her name in the two years that she's been dead. It hurts to much.

"Tell me what?" Clary asks, clearly frustrated with her lack of being in the loop. "You know what, nevermind I'll go ask someone else." She says with a shrug, turning around and walking to the exit of the kitchen.

"They won't tell you anything except one thing. 'Go ask Alec, Izzie or Jace. It's not our story to tell, it's their's'." My voice rang out sharply,  I was quickly getting very annoyed at her.

"There will be someone willing to tell." She says confidently.

"No, there won't. Out of respect for a fellow shadowhunter sister and brothers, no one, not even Raj, will tell you." I persisted, knowing that they won't.

"I thought I was a shadowhunter as well. Is it some kind of big secret?" She asks.

"You are a shadowhunter, well sort of, and no it's not a big secret but it is forbidden to talk about." I say to her hoping for her to stop being so nosey.

Didn't work.

"Forbidden? Why?" I sigh highly annoyed at the questioning.

"Because it hurts to talk about it." Izzie answers sencing my annoynce. I just nod in agreement at what she said.

"Oh ok, well I just wanted to know what has the entire institute rattled." I exaled heavily realising that she will find out one way or another, better she gets the right story.

"I will tell you, on one condition." I say while Izzie glances at me surprised. I never talk about her and I shut down when someone mentions her.

"Anything" she answers quickly.

"You never question anyone in this institute about it or bring it up ever again. Including too me, Izzie and Jace ever again." I say so harshly that she flinches from my tone which is usually bored but never harsh. I extend my hand to her and say:

"Deal?" She looks at my hand before shaking it.

"Deal" she says firmly while shaking my hand.

I take out my phone and pick a nice photo of her and I hand Clary the phone. She looks at it confused before recognition passes through her eyes.

"She looks like-"

"Jace" I finish for her. She just nods.

"Yeah, she uh, she was his sister." Her eyes widen and jaw drops at this.

"I never knew he had a sister. That's why he blew up like that. Oh my-, I have to go an-" she starts.

"What you need to do is, sit your ass on the couch over there and listen." Izzie says while pointing to the couch in the joined room to the kitchen.

We go to the room and sit down. Izzie next to me and Clary across from us. Izzie grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze of comfort. I squeeze back in thanks.

"She wasn't just Jace's sister." She just looks at me confused and Izzie answers.

"She was my parabatai." She says strongly but her voice breaks in the end. Clary gasps at this and I see her eyes fill with tears.

"Izzie, I am so sorry." Izzie just waves her off and gives her a sad smile.

"Alec's got it worse." She says softly

"What could be worse than losing your parabatai?" She asks quizically and I can hear the gears turning in her head. Realization hits her like cold water, she gasps and sit up straight.

"Y-you can't mean-" she starts but I cut her off with a nod and the tears starts rolling form all three of us.

"Yes, she uh...she was my wife."

***

Chapter 1 is done. I hope you enjoy my story.

-mixie_2000