C H A P T E R S I X
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song of the chapter
~Been That Way by Bryson Tiller~
"How did we become so distant?
Like I'm the one to blame
And you're innocent
I try to make a way
Make a difference
But some things don't change
I can't complain
I try not to think about you
What can I say
Every time I get near you
I want that old thing back"
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Selena's POV:
My stomach flipped when I started to hear Justin's footsteps down the hall, and I immediately assumed I was going crazy, but when his figure came into view, I swear I stopped breathing for a second.
"You came," I said softly as his beautiful brown eyes stared down at me from the doorway.
He didn't say anything, but his eyes said more than he ever could have.
It still was so strange to see him real and in front of me because for months he had just been an image in my head. But now he was here, and all I wanted was for everything to go back to before when nothing else mattered.
The silence burned a hole in my chest, and I couldn't decide whether or not to speak or listen.
Not knowing what to do, I waited for him. Maybe he would tell me how the hell he got into my house.
We were so close, yet so, so far away.
After all the phone calls and text messages, I still couldn't believe he was standing there, really really standing there.
I wanted so badly to wrap my arms around his neck and tell him, 'it's okay, I love and forgive you'. I wanted to whisper sweet nothings in his ear and make love until there were no words left to be said, and no more apologies to be forgiven. Instead, I sat quiet and still, as if every ounce of love I ever had for him was gone.
"I missed you," He whispered innocently as his arm gripped the doorframe beside him.
I blame myself for getting so attached. I knew this would all come tumbling down and I knew it would crush me. But, I never did anything to possibly prepare myself because I could've never imagined a situation like the one I'm in at the moment. I never thought in a million years that he would crush me, at least, I never thought I would let him.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, holding back my emotions.
He didn't deserve to hear my apology when truly, the only thing I'm sorry for is that I'll never be good enough for him. Most importantly, I'm sorry to myself for becoming so deeply attached to someone who holds all the power in the world to hurt me.
He still stood there in the doorway, and the light hitting his back made him look like an angel in a way, but that was nowhere near the truth.
The glossiness of his eyes was as visible to me as the pain he hid from everyone else.
I used to be that one person who wasn't considered 'everyone else'. I used to be his lifeline, his favorite hello, and hardest goodbye. Now, I don't know where I stand, or who stands above me.
With slow movements, he stepped closer, almost as if he was asking for permission to breathe the same air.
There's really only one thing I hate more than that.
