C H A P T E R F I V E
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song of the chapter
~Paradise by Chris Brown~
"You don't love me like you used to
Where did I go wrong?
When did I lose focus?
When did you move on?
It seems like I never noticed
And I've been looking for you in other girl's faces
...
I fell out of paradise
And now all I do is cry,
It hurts when you fall out of paradise
It cuts me just like a knife,
Got me all of out place and it don't feel right
Got lost in the sun
And now I'm paying the price"
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Justin's POV:
"Ugh, what time is it?" I mumbled, hoping no one could hear.
Twist whipped his phone out of his back pocket and checked the time. "Twelve thirty." In the morning might I mention.
"I'm ready to go, this shit's boring." We had been standing around at the party for more than an hour, and the only reason we came was for Barbara, but she hadn't said a word to either of us since we got here.
He shook his head, still looking down at his phone. "Dude, do you realize where you are? How many times are you gonna be at a party with like 50 supermodels?" I shrugged, thinking of Selena for no reason at all.
I hate to blame every problem I've had in the past few days on Selena, but it's her fault. I didn't want to be here at the afterparty, and I never wanted to go to the actual show either, I was too depressed and overworked and over everything. What I wanted was to go home and cry and be alone and listen to sad music.
I wasn't even planning to come to the afterparty, but Barbara insisted and I guess I found comfort in that.
Ever since Selena broke up with me, I've felt so empty and lost, and I find myself looking for parts of her in other girls. From their hair to their smiles, to the void they fill. But now, every single girl here reminds me of her, and the thought of her refuses to leave my mind. I'm slowly going crazy. There's not one thing that I could think of to get her out of my head.
"You're still bummed about Selala aren't you?" He lowkey laughed.
A sigh left my lips as I spoke. "I mean, we had Broadway tickets for tomorrow, and I was gonna call to ask if we were still on for the show, but I don't even wanna try anymore, everything is just all fucked up, I'm over it,"
"That's tough," Twist stated.
She's all I've ever known, I wasn't ready to lose her so quick, and I don't think I ever will be ready. I don't know what to do about it, she blocked me, so it's not like I could call her even if I wanted to, and besides that, I already know she's going to see pictures of the models and me today, and hear stories and everything like that. I'm not ready to talk to her yet, it's just going to cause me more pain than anything else.
"Yeah, it's chill though, can I crash at your house?" He replied with a quick 'for sure' and directed his attention to his phone.
I'm terrified of the future, and just imagining one without her is even worse.
"Oh shit," Twist said, catching me off guard.
I've always called him Twist, his real name is Christopher, but, his rapper name is Lil Twist, so everyone goes by that.
"What?" I asked cluelessly.
"Selena."
Speaking of nicknames, all my friends call her Selala, I don't know why, but they just do. So, when he said Selena and not 'Selala', I knew it was serious.
