Give Me Life

Part 26

*Amelia's point of view*

As the weeks began to pass by I was really beginning to miss Aston, but at the same time I was only thankful that each day that passed was another day less until I got to see him again.

He did promise me he'd call me every day and 3 weeks in he'd kept it. Although it wasn't the same as him being here, hearing his voice made me feel as though he wasn't so far away. Rochelle and Chloe were kind of used to their boyfriends being away for long periods of time and had found ways of dealing with it, but as it was the first time he'd had to go away, I was having a really hard time, not even work was taking my mind off it, it actually just made me think about it more. Some of my patients were really really sick, and all I wanted to do was give them the quality of life I had...but it was impossible to do that...I just had to give them the best possible care for their time in hospital...regardless of the outcome...

*Astons point of view*

We'd been working non-stop since we arrived here 3 weeks ago, and I'd lie if I said I wasn't missing home. But somehow I was dealing with it well, Amelia expected a phone call at least once a day and that's what I did, even though some days the conversation really wasn't flowing, she didn't seem to make much of an effort to have a proper discussion with me, it was just the same, how's your day been? What are you up too? And to be quite honest I was getting a little bored of it. Was this just my weird way of dealing with her not being with her? Maybe I thought that if I pushed her away whilst I was over here it wouldn't hurt as much that we weren't seeing each other...what the hell was going on with me, it wasn't that I was falling out of love I don't think...but there was just something missing between us, some sort of spark that we'd previously had was now gone...and I was desperate to get it back...

'Hey Ast are you ok?...' Marv said walking into my hotel room

'Yeah I guess....' I sighed

'Seriously whats wrong? Are you just missing Amelia...'

'I don't know...' I said looking at the floor

'How do you mean? You must miss her...surely?'

'Yeah I do...I think...its weird, I just don't know how I feel anymore...theres just something between us that's not there anymore...somethings missing...' I explained

'but you do love her...right?'

'Yeah of course I do....i just feel like I miss her company...and I don't know what to do...my heads all over the place and I don't know how to cope with the distance'

'I know what you need...'

'What?...' I asked

'The boys and I were thinking of going into town tonight as we have the morning off tomorrow...wanted to blow off some steam....'

'actually that doenst seem like too much of a bad idea...' I smiled

'really?...'

'Yeah! I mean it would be rude of us to come all this way and not see what the night life of L.A has to offer...' I laughed

'you got that right...right I'll go tell the other boys..'

'Ok...' I smiled

I knew I was putting on a brave face, I just didn't know how I felt anymore and I didn't want to say anything to anyone until I knew for myself how I felt...I did really really love her, I mean she is my whole world, but my head was all over the place and it was this night out that decided my fate and fucked everything up for us...I made the biggest mistake of my life...

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