Out of My Control

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I feel my palms sweating,

My lips yearning,

My legs shaking,

My breath quickening,

My heart pumping...faster and faster.

I try to hold myself together, but nothing works.

I am losing control of my own body.

Why does it feel like I am always wanting something but never knowing what it is?

Why does it feel like I need to touch someone but never knowing who?

Why does it feel like I have something missing every time I come home?

Why does it like my legs are in a hurry to go to school?

Why do I feel like I have to laugh whenever you are near?

Why do I want to feel like velvety feeling of your hands?

Why do I want to stare into your eyes until I see what I always wanted to know?

I am becoming closer to you, but it is only making me want to touch you more.

What if one day I cannot stand being "only friends"?

What if I want to be something more?

More than this joking around,

More than this flirtacious patting of each other's shoulder,

More than this exchange of confusing glances.

Nowadays, I just do not understand what I want.

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