unpretty

15

June 01, 2012

I remembered the time when I was in sixth grade, there was a girl my age who idolized my sister very much because of her pretty features.

Incredulous enough for me to believe, she wanted-- no, she was dramatically desperate to transform her face into one like Ailee's.

She had the money because her family was well-off, so she did everything to literally fix her face.

One day, she told me, 'Don't you feel ashamed that you're very different from your sister? A bad kind of different at that.'

I could never forget how I responded. Even until now, I have always adhered to the answer that I gave her.

I said, 'Honestly, I don't see any problem with that. I don't see why you'd ask me that question either when I am the one who decides if I should feel ashamed or not. But if you want an answer, no. It's not my preference to copy someone else, especially my sister.'

I didn't know exactly why; why I suddenly recalled that memory.

It made me wonder, was it because I have found myself guilty of already going against my word?

Particularly at this moment, when my gums and teeth felt unfamiliar all over again, now that the doctor finally allowed my braces to be removed.

I took a look at the mirror and stretched my lips outwards, revealing the observable change my former braces have brought to my canines.

There was a definite difference between the ones I had years ago and the ones I'm staring at right now.

"Oh my Boksungie! You look absolutely stunning!" My mom proudly said in a blissful tone. She cupped my face, making me show more of my full white teeth.

I scanned the face of my reflection in the mirror, flashing out a smile to see how it would look like.

And then, the more I watched, the more I saw the resemblance.

It looked like Ailee's smile.

I've never felt happier the moment I realized that.

But I felt like a hypocrite, too.