When I Love, I Love.

Part 27

I have been quite lucky in the past few months, my body was responding to chemotherapy, I had entered the third phase of cancer which was trying to accomplish a lot so I can leave a legacy behind so that when they thinks of Mia Reynolds, they will remember that she fought hard and according to Connor, died graciously so that was my new goal, to die graciously "hello miss Reynolds, how are you feeling today?" everyone kept on asking me as I went back to work after 4 months of a no show and because of the pity party going on at my office, I called a meeting "hello everyone, I am so grateful to you all for supporting me and for asking of my whereabouts along the line in my cancer story, but it gets annoying you know? I will be fine don't worry, I am responding to treatment and I will soon start to lose my hair but don't worry, I won't leave this company in a way that you all will be rendered jobless in the event of my death."

So life became harder as the days went by, and i decided to make my bucket list... did I tell you how my abortion went? The pregnancy was still young and so I got to take the pill instead of having some person poke things inside my stomach searching for a baby. I had started chemotherapy however and it was going well, the doctors said theres a high chance I would survive the cancer and as much as I was happy, I didn't want to take any chances, I made a bucket list and Rita was included in all the things I wanted to do throughout my life and I am so happy that she didn't leave me, she went for every single doctors appointment with me, every single one, I couldn't have asked for a better friend than her, especially at this point of my life.

Phoebe became a constant visitor at my place, I miss her a lot these days and her mum has to take care of Owen and Phoebe hates to leave his side so she needs the e xtra help I am rendering for as long as I can. Today was supposed to be my wedding day, I sat in bed thinking to myself, silently condemning myself because of how easily I let this fool sway me, I guess thats the fucked up thing about love, when you taste it first, you'd want more, and in wanting more, you become the fool, become fully susceptible to ay crap the person says, so I put that down in my book as well, I was in an amazing mood to write and so I took out my mac and continued the joke of a book I was writing, I had never written any book, but I had published too many books. thats the life of a publisher I suppose.

"When you hit me with that frisbee, I didn't know I would be the one you would wife. I trust you with everything I have, I promise to love and to care, to understand and to love you all the days of my life, I will stand beside you no matter what, from today, what belongs to me is yours as well, I give you my heart Connor, don't play with it; and no matter what, I will love you all the days of my life and I will be a faithful wife until death do us part. Tears rolled down as I read my vows out to myself. Months before my happily ever after, I get a rare form of cancer and lose everything I ever wanted, the cruelty of this world will forever remain a mystery to me. Now I was angry, I was tired of this and suddenly an idea popped up in my head, I just stood up, wiped my eyes, took a car and drove, I drove for nearly 3 hours until I was in the front of the cemetery where my parents were buried, I hadn't been here in ages, it looks exactly as I remember it, the smell here was uncanny .

As I walked through the gates all the horrible memories from my childhood just flashed in my head, I wanted to walk back for a moment "this is just useless" I uttered to myself as I attempted to walk back  to my car, something in me just didn't let me go, I had to get through with this, I had promised myself the last time I was here that I wouldn't be there until I have made it. Here I am right now, standing with ugly daisies I picked from a gas station store when i refilled my tank some time ago, I got there and saw it, UNKNOWN HUSBAND AND WIFE. I never had the chance to declare their bodies, since I had amnesia but then in the past few months, I made arrangements with a private investigator and these are my parents 

"I know you both are looking down at this failure you call a daughter, I was supposed to be invincible, I wanted to live a good life and not die unexpectedly like you guys did, I feel that death is this one bitter person who comes only when someone is extremely happy. I wanted to finally get married and have beautiful children like you guys had me, I can only remember one thing that you used to say mummy "the thing is, friends will leave and time will pass, but one thing is, love always seems to find the right people" And I am too sure I found the right person, the one who I let my guard down for, the one who I gave everything to, and then he is only here for the money", by now I was in tears "I cannot wait to see the both of you up there, you would've been grand parents, but I got rid of it since I won't want a child to be born of me and suffer in this world just the way I suffered after your death, save me a huge mansion, I hope to see you both soon" 

"you're not going anywhere" a voice said behind me and before I could turn to see who it was, I was hit in the head and then everything just went blank.....