「いかないで」; 及川 徹

ー ELEVEN

[ o i k a w a   t . | l e t h i m g o ]
NOT A ONE SHOT

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

probably, one of the worst things that can happen to a person, was to let go of someone they love the most. not just because you don't like them anymore, or the spark isn't there like it used to be.

maybe because you're tired.

tired of being unnoticed, tired of staying even if you knew they're not even there in the first place. tired of holding on in a hope you can't have, in a wish you can't get.

you need to let him go; because you're all nothing but a tired mess. rather than the usual cheery girl, your friends grew accustomed to. the girl isn't there anymore. the once beautiful and untainted girl wasn't there anymore. she's gone. you forcefully slid her aside, and let your own thoughts and hopes and dreams succumbed you whole.

he maybe aware that you like him, he maybe knew that you often stole a inconspicuous glance at him whenever he's around, he maybe aware that you're stalking his social accounts, and he might be aware about your overall feelings for him.

but he's just aware.

he won't realized, how much he meant to you, he won't realize that; that one single look you throw in his way, will immediately made up your day. he won't realize how often you write his name on the pages of your random notebook, he won't realize how many poems you've wrote about him, how many times you cried yourself to sleep. how many hours you've spend thinking about him. how many sleepless nights you'd spend wondering of the possible things the both of you could be. how many times you have tried fo forget about him, but you couldn't give yourself a chance to lead.

no, he wouldn't realized that.

and he would never be.

you're just another girl in the crowd.

another addition to the group.

it's killing you, isn't?

yes.

you love him.

you love everything about him.
everything.

but isn't it a time to finally notice the wake up call? It's calling out to you numerous times, so loud it's unbearable. but you chose to walk further from it, unto the futile chance ahead of you.

don't you consider your worth?
don't you think there's more out there, rather than caging yourself in?

don't you think there's still plenty of things ahead of you; waiting to be explored?

don't you think you deserved more?
much better?

you're not supposed to give yourself instantly, on a person who didn't feel the same. you're not supposed to give your time and effort to someone who has enough.
who had plenty of people, to give them what they need. otherwise? You'll be left out, and no one will care once you did.

you're beautiful, you're amazing, unique.
you can do anything you want.
you can be anyone as you want.
you're you.

you. yes, that amazing girl who has lost her way.

and trust me, that girl deserved much better.

;;

' wake up, sleepy head.

he's too much for you,

he's too far away.

you can't reach him.

you can't be with him.

so darling?

open those lids,

and let him go. '

;;

''' × be free × '''