Lost Boy; C.h.

-21-

*Calum's POV*

I felt like a bullet went through my heart. Breaking me on the inside, then hurting me on the outside. Ryan just broke up with me. Because Michael was depressed we're together. She walked away right after she said so. I assume to go talk to the girls about it. It hurt me really fucking badly. I hated myself for not understanding, but then again I hate myself for a lot of other things too. I ran to Ryan and I's shared room. Just as I turned the corner, I saw the girl walking into the girls room with all of her suitcases.

Now I know she's fucking serious. I ran into my room. The one that I don't share, and face planted onto the bed then let my feelings in the form of salty tears flow free. I cried until I didn't have any tears left to possibly cry out. I turned on my back. I looked at the clock and realized it was just 6:30. I guess I could 'go to bed' early.

I walked over to the others room. I didn't open the door, because they'd notice something's wrong. So in stead. I knocked and yelled, "I'm going to bed early. Goodnight!" I said. My voice broke at the end. So I hoped they didn't notice and ran to my bed.

I simply stared at my ceiling and learned I was wrong, by crying more. Then Ashton barged in. Good timing. At least he closed and locked the door.

He didn't say anything. He just laid beside me and hugged me.

"It's okay." He quietly mumbled, rubbing my back. I held him back, and just cried into his arms. When I was finished I just stayed there.

"Cashton AF." He whispered, almost making me laugh.

"How did you find out?" I asked quietly. He sighed slowly. I heard Ryan talking about it. I bit my lip. Obviously not in a sexy way, but a worried way. I nodded slowly then turned to be on my back. Ashton stayed with me all night. I realized, when I heard his soft snores escaping his lips. Luckily I followed his ways.
~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up alone again, to a knock at the door.

"Come in." I said flatly. The bonds boy walked in with a Cheese Toastie on a plate. He gave me the food to me, then kissed my forehead like a mom would. I have dumb friends. Ashton must've explained the whole story to him, but I couldn't care less. I ate the food as he left, then put my drained eyes back on the ceiling. I took a deep breath then walked to my suit case. I unzipped it and pulled out a small pouch. Inside contained my writing supplies. A notebook, a lot of pencils, and a razor pencil sharpener.

Although that razor seemed awfully appealing to use in a different way, I used it to sharpen a pencil. I grabbed my notebook and began to write.

I had a thought, and wrote it down. That led to another which I wrote down. I repeated the process over and over till I was poring my soul and feelings out on the paper, in the form of graphite lead on paper.

At the end of my little writing session, I wrote two good songs. Invisible and Castaway. I looked down at the first page.

Invisible

Another day of painted walls and football on the TV. No one sees me. Fade away, lost inside a memory of someone's life, it wasn't mine.

(Chorus)
I was already missing, before the night I left. Just me and my shadow, and all of my regrets. Who am I? Who am I? When I don't know myself. Who am I? Who am I? Invisible.

Wasted days, dreaming of the times I know I can't get back. Seems I just lost track. Looking on, as all of life's colors seem to fade to gray, I just walked away.

(Chorus x2)

Another day, the walls are built to keep me safe. I can't escape, it's too late.

I read over it in my head, nodding to myself. Then I flipped to the next one.

Castaway

Young love, Close the chapter, there's no 'ever after'. Fell fast, ended faster, yeah. Late night conversations, led to complications. Now my heart is in my hands.

(Chorus)
Cause you walked out and left me stranded, nothing left but picture frames; and I just keep on asking myself,
How'd we drift so far away? From where we left off yesterday? I'm lonely like a Castaway. Heartbreak that I can't escape, a sinking ship I'll never save. I'm lonely like a Castaway.

All your screaming whispers slipped right through my fingers. But these memories linger on. Eyes closed, all I see is good times disappearing, and I'm trying to hold on.

(Chorus x2)

Again, I nodded and closed my book. Some of the statements are not 100% true. But it made me feel better so why the hell not.

Throughout the day, Ashton or Luke would bring me food. Or if I asked for something, they'd bring it to me. I was like a princess. Yes, a princess.

Maybe I will survive. Just maybe.