Lost Boy; C.h.

-44-

Calum

"Calum, I'm pregnant." She said. I felt my jaw drop.

"You're... pregnant?" I asked, clarifying that I didn't hear anything wrong.

"Yes cal." She whispered while she looked down  at her lap, as a tear rolled down her cheek slowly.

I'm gonna be a father.

"I'll be a dad." I said, just as quietly.

Her forest eyes met my own, and the mascara and eyeliner that was smeared and running down her cheeks broke my heart.

She was scared that I wouldn't want to be a dad. She was terrified I'd walk out on her. But I would never do that to her.
I've made mistakes in my life, but leaving the love of my life and my child behind me as I run away from my problems is not one of them.

It hurt to think I'd do that to her when I wouldn't ever.

I leaned into her and gave her a long kiss and pulled away before I realized I was crying.

"I'm gonna be a dad!" I cried happily. She seemed shocked that I responded so well. I hugged her tightly and didn't let go for a while. She is the love of my life and I could never give her up, not even if someone with a gun to my head told me to.

I kissed her again and she kissed me back.

"I love you so much, darling."

"I love you too." She smiled, her bright eyes that were just like her brothers eyes. However they were way prettier than both Mikey and Max's. At least to me, they were the most gorgeous eyes ever. Her body and face and hair as well were so wonderful, I could never give her up.

But then  she looked sad again.

"What's wrong?" I asked, still crying tears of joy.

"I was expecting you to not be happy..." she said.

"And that I would walk out on you?" I asked her and wiped the tears away so I could help her out.

"Yes." She nodded.

"Ryan, I love you more than anyone else in the universe." I reassured, "and I would never ever ever ever do that to you and our baby." I told her. Then she smiled.

"Our baby." She said,

"Our baby." I repeated with a peck on her lips.

"Merry Christmas, love."

~~~~~~~~~~

That night I hard trouble sleeping, obvious reasons. At around 4 am, it hit me that I've never been a good role model.

I'll be the worst dad I admitted to myself. I somehow managed to let my negative thoughts take over my brain. I began to cry again, realized I could so easily ruin my kids life and I couldn't live with that.

Ryan woke up. I guess I was crying louder than I thought. Also she's a pretty light sleeper. She sat up and turned her lamp on. She turned to me and her eyes saddened seeing the tears I tried to wipe away.

"Cal, what's wrong?" She asked softly.

"I'm... in gonna be the worst at that."

"At...being a dad?" She clarified, I nodded sadly, and she chuckled. Calum raised his eyebrow, wondering why she was laughing.

"Calum, you'll be absolutely perfect. Even if you were bad, I'd be just as bad. If not worse." She admitted, before wiping the last tears to fall from my dark eyes.

"No." I smiled. "You're too perfect to be worse than me." I told her.

"Come on. I'm not perfect." She reasoned, "we both have dark spots, and they're pretty dark." I laughed at the way she put that.

"You're... dark." I said. She chuckled.

"Come on, let's sleep now." She yawned.   I nodded and she turned off the light. I layed down and held my arms out for her to come into, and she did that. I pulled the covers over us, and soon the soft snores escaped her lips, calming me enough to fall asleep with the girl I want to spend my life with.