All I Want

into the woods | 16

•Riley•

I shake James and he groans, "Go away, West!"

"It's me, Riley," I say and shake him again.

He turns on his side and flashes me a weak smile, "Good morning,"

"Come for a walk with me,"

James gets up, pulls on a hoodie and some shoes. We reach outside and I smell something weird, I turn around and see James with a cigarette, just as Eldon had said.

"Stop, James," I warn

He shrugs, "It's just one,"

I come up towards him but James pushes me away, "It's just one, is that what you just said? Are you kidding me? If you continue, you are going to die,"

"Riley, I can't stop this," He whispers

"You told me you would try," I argue back, "Try for me,"

I watch as the cigarette falls slowly from his hands, "You have to understand that I can't stop it so easily,"

I close up closer to him and look up into his eyes, "Fight it for me,"

I can smell the smoke on his breath as he pulls me into a hug. I hold him tightly, missing his smell, his warmth, his arms, missing him.

I pull away from James and I see a small smile on his face, "Let's go then," I whisper and take his hand.

We walk in a random direction into the woods and James swings our entwined hands together in the air, "How's the studio?" He asks

"We lost Regionals, I failed and it was all my fault," I sigh, not wanting to talk about it

He shakes his head, "No, you didn't fail. Failing is giving up and that's what you didn't do. You never give up, Riley that's why I lo-" James stops, "that's why I, um, thought you would be a great studio head,"

"Come back to dance," I say changing the subject.

"I- I don't think I'm ready for it yet, Riley..." He hesitates

"What's wrong?" I ask in concern

James stops and directs his attention to me, "When we broke up, I had nothing left. Usually when I dance, I just forget everything and dance but it was different. I dug deep into myself but I found nothing there. It was just a hole left there and it was filled with you. I dance because of you. That's why I lost Bangers and Mashups," He turns and walks away from me.

I never really saw how much I meant to James. I never really saw how much he meant it when he said that he loved me. I realise now that if the whole world was ending, James would sacrifice his life to protect me.

Why me? What have I done to deserve his love?

I just went ahead and broke his heart. I broke him and I don't know if he's ever going to be the same again. I don't know if we are ever going to be the same again.

I watch as he walk silently away from me through the trees, just like I walked away from his love.