All I Want

not the same | 6

•Riley•

He's changed so much. He barely looks like James, like the boy I fell in love with all those years ago.

A man sits on the chair with glazed eyes looking at the crackling fire. He's gained weight and he has a scruffy beard that still looks quite kept but messy. The boys must have shaved it for him.

But I could recognise him anywhere, "James?" I choke out

He doesn't answer and a heavy silence fills the room. After a few minutes, Eldon tugs my arms to lead me to another room with West and my sister.

"It's not real," I hear James whisper to himself behind my back.

I take a seat in the dining room and the boys sit opposite us. West turns to me, "Riley... James is going through something at the moment,"

"Like what?" I ask

He shakes his head unsure of what to say, "We lost Bangers and Mashups back in England. James was dancing great but we both knew something wasn't right with him and that missing connection made us lose the win,"

Eldon nods and goes into the cupboard which is stocked full of 65% Costa Rican cacao chocolate. He grabs one and places directly in the centre of the table. Emily and I exchange a look of confusion.

"After we were going to come back to Canada but James wanted to stay so we did. We stayed at Ella's place until she ordered us to come back here..."

"Why?" I asked

"We couldn't stay there forever and James was..." West glances at Eldon again and he nods.

"Riley, we all love James but he's just... he's not the same anymore. Ever since we were staying at Ella's he refused to go outside, he refused to speak, he refused to talk. Ella told us that the only way we can fix him was by seeing you again," Eldon finishes

"He's heartbroken," Emily whispers

I look at all three of them looking at me. I had no idea what I put James through. While I was with Alfie, I couldn't stop thinking about him. Alfie was never James.

"Can I go talk to him?" I ask

West looks at me reluctantly, "Before you do you have to understand that James won't suddenly go back to the person he once was..."

I nod at him confused. I thought that if I was here with him things could go back to normal. Could this have been more serious than I thought?

I get up and in the corner of my eye I see Emily get up as well but West places a hand to stop her and she sits back down.

I walk back into the living room, James still is looking back into the fire and I take a seat on the couch beside him.

"James, it's me, Riley," I whisper softly

There's a silence before he turns his head to look at me but somethings wrong. It's like he's looking through me, like I'm a ghost. His eyes are empty and tired.

He's not the same.