Letters to Ashton

Day Ten

2 October, 2013
Day 10 without you

Oh, Ashton, you did say you loved me before you left.

They found a letter in your suitcase, there was one for each person in your life.

I am sorry I got so angry with you yesterday. I said that you left me without saying anything but you did.

I reread that letter so many times, Ashton. Just taking in the scent, the handwriting, the tears on the paper.

I am so sorry. So so sorry. If I had knew how much you were at war with yourself I would have gotten you help, the same help I am getting now.

You could have told me, you know? I would have understood! I know you said in your letter that you were scared to tell me how you felt, but why? You didn't trust me?

I just miss you so much, Ashton, believe me. If I could turn back time, I would. I would take back every little joke I said that possibly hurt you, I would have expressed my love for you more, I would have made you smile more.

But it's too late now, Ashton. We both know that.