(Highest ranking #2 in marysue)
[previously titled "marysue roasts"]
*warning*
If you are a sensitive little child don't read this book, you'll probably end up crying... AND READ MY DISCLAIMER FIRST!!
Basically, you can send me whatever you want and...
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(Sorry guys my cropping cannot make it, also the image i put at the top is the oc's image lol duh)
1) like i always say..."as long as its not the magical 15 im mostly cool" ~joelle2k'17
2) about the 1st part of the backstory, if no one ever liked or loved her where did her sudden friends come from? BLESS THE FACT HER PARENTS ARE ALIVE AND LOVE HER. Thats so rare in the sea of ocs. Ok now im skeptical about this part and whether its good or bad...
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Whats did she feel? Something bad? Obviously,but still. This will be a really cool idea to look into if you turn her story into a book:)
3) so im thinking that the fictional character screwed with her mind and caused her to kill he parent's in their sleep???That's fucked up. Also what made her spare her siblings but not her parents? Also,her aunt was nice enough to take her in, pay for her treatment BUT SHE KILLED HER??? Im not saying thats a horrible plot but im just horrified by the thought.
4) so she went to clinic later in but who took her there? The police? A neighbour? If so, why didn't she escape or attempt to kill them? Given her mental state then, she might have.
5) DRAWING CRITICISM: im not the best artist obviously but just some things I'll point out so you can work on it.
If the scene she's in is the alysum,why is she covered in blood? By the time she gets there the staff will normally treat her like a hospital patient and take care of her until she's better so they wont leave her covered in blood.
If its at her aunt's home and shes covered in her aunts blood, wheres the corpse? Is it the black lump under the bed? If yes,more detialing would be nice. Maybe draw a stray hand sticking out?
Despite all scene issues,the art itself is pretty good, not the best,but good:) keep it up!! (i dont say this often so feel honoured ;p) (jkjkjk)
In conclusion, your oc is very decent but I'll have to add 2 points for the "killing family members" cliche. By the way, after all those years where did her siblings go? The last time we saw them was in some place hiding,what happened afterwards?
