Tayvin | Better Than This

11 》 Still

Adam's POV

I held Taylor in my arms whilst she cried.

"Babe, are you alright?" I asked her, my face full of concern and worry.

"Y yeah. Leah just called me mommy. Sorry, I know it's stupid but I don't know... I'm just emotional I guess." She said, softly laughing at the last part. I hugged her tighter and kissed her on the forehead.

"It's not stupid, Tay. It's special. I'd cry too if she called me daddy. Anyway, you should go to bed now. It's late." I tell her, guiding her over to her room.

"I know." She answered, yawning. "Are you going back to yours or are you gonna stay the night?"

"If it's alright with you then I'll stay since it's already late. I don't mind sleeping on the couch..."

"Stay here." Taylor says, moving over a bit to make space for me. "Just no funny business because there's a two year old next door." I change into a t-shirt and boxers and get into bed next to Taylor.

"Goodnight, Taylor." I say.

"Goodnight, Adam."

"I Love you."

"I love you too."

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Taylor's POV

I was staring at Leah's poor, helpless body. She was shaking and being rushed into the hospital. I rushed after her but they wouldn't let me see her. I waited for hours to be able to go and see how she was but I was made to sit and wait.

I couldn't handle it anymore. I needed to go and see this child. She mattered so much to me. She wasn't mine but I loved her like she was.

I snuck past doctors to the room I had seen them bring her in. She was lying in bed. Asleep. Wires covered her and she looked so uncomfortable. This was all my fault. She was running from me.

Tears trickle down my face and I realise I should go before I get seen in here. I take her hand in mine and place a kiss on it.

"Stay strong, Leah. I love you and I'm sorry if I did something wrong. I hope I can make it up to you." I say. I put her hand back down and walk out of the room. I feel horrible. This was all my fault. She's two years old. She had already been through enough and yet here I am, making her suffer some more.

I woke up from my dream, tears falling down my cheeks. I turned to Adam who was fast asleep. I didn't want to wake him up so I got out of bed and walked out of the room and into the en suite bathroom. I looked in the mirror to see my red puffy eyes and my tear stained face. I splashed my face with water and then dried it off. I still felt horrible. I had already gotten through the first part of the adoption process and I knew I really wanted to be a mother to Leah. But now I was scared. It wasn't that I was having second thoughts, it's that I'm doubting my capabilities. Have I got what it takes to be a mother?

I walk back into my room and Adam is still there, asleep. I check the time: 2:43am. I take my phone off of the bedside table and walk out the room and down the hall. I open the door of the spare room and peek in to see Leah. I expected to see her asleep but she was awake, staring at the ceiling. I don't think she has noticed my presence yet because she hasn't moved. She's just lying there, looking up. A tear falls down her cheek but she doesn't move or make a sound. I walk towards her, not wanting to frighten her.

"Leah?" I ask, worried as to why the two year old is crying. She doesn't move, just stays in the same position she was in when I first walked in. Ok, now I'm getting worried. "Leah?Are you Okay?"I ask, shaking her a little. She still doesn't do anything. "LEAH!" I shout, shaking her. I can feel that I'm crying too now and I'm desperately shaking her. What's wrong with her? Why is she so still? Her chest is rising and falling, atleast I know she's alive. I'm really scared now. "LEAH!LEAH!LEAH!" I shout repeatedly. Her eyes were wide open but not blinking. 

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S