Tayvin | Better Than This

26》You ate a baby?

Taylor's POV

Adam walks into the room with Leah resting on his hip. She has her face buried into his neck so I can only see her sandy blonde hair falling down her back. I can hear her whimpers but it seems like Adam was able to calm her down a little. On the other hand, I'm still a mess. I can feel my hot cheeks and I imagine them being a shade of bright red. 

Adam walks closer to the bed and whispers something softly into Leah's ear. I watch her nod before he sets her down on the edge of the bed. Adam bends over and whispers into my ear,

"You said you didn't want the baby, she thought you meant her."

I shake my head and I immediately feel guilty. I lean forward and wrap my arms around the little girl. She trembles in my arms and tries to protest but soon relaxes. Her eyes stare into mine. They're filled with hurt. 

"Oh, baby...no...I love you honey. I love you so so much. I wasn't talking about you when I said I didn't want a baby, honey."

"...but you only have one baby, mommy." She says "And...and that's me."

I sigh and look at Adam. I can tell that he wants to tell Leah, but I'm just not ready. It still hasn't sunk in for me and I'm really not happy about my pregnancy so I was hoping I could avoid telling others. It wasn't something I was prepared to celebrate. However, I also didn't want to deal with a confused little 3 year old which thought her mommy didn't love her. Adam nods, telling me that he gave his approval for me to tell her.

"Honey, mommy has a baby in her tummy. That's the baby she was talking about." I say quietly but loud enough for the toddler to hear.

"You ate a baby!?" She says, a little shocked.

"That's not quite how the baby got in mommy's tummy..." Adam says, smirking. I wasn't really in the mood to hear his sex references so I shush him and put my attention back on Leah.

"No, honey. I didn't eat the baby. The baby just has to live in my tummy for a while so it can grow until it's big enough to come and live in our world." Leah nods, understanding slightly. I hug her tightly and we sit in silence for a moment.

"Why don't you want the baby, mommy?" Leah whispers.

"Of course I want the baby. It's just mommy is very tired and said things she didn't mean." I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. I rub at the corners of my eyes where tears were welling up. Adam throws an arm around me and gives me squeeze, his hand resting on my hip. As more tears surface I wipe my eyes in his shirt and bury my face into his chest. He whispers reassuring things into my ear which help, but the tears don't stop.

"How about you and me make some lunch and let mommy rest, what do you say bug?"

"Kay."

Adam lifts Leah into his arms and Leah gives a small wave to me before the two of them disappear downstairs. I lay there alone, sobbing into my pillow. Luckily I hadn't put any makeup on yet because if I had I knew I'd look even worse than I do right now.

I didn't know what I wanted at this point. I didn't want a baby, I was happy with my little family for now. Sure, I want more kids in the future. But not now. I wanted to have all my attention on Leah. I didn't want for the baby to come and I wouldn't have much time left for her.

I tried to put an end to my endless amount of worries and thoughts. I shut my eyes, hoping to atleast get a little rest even if I wouldn't fall asleep. In the end I did fall asleep and although I missed lunch I did really need that nap.

-----

I had a meeting to discuss how I was planning to move my career forward whilst being a mother to Leah. I wasn't ready to tell my label I was pregnant yet, especially since I hadn't even told my mom yet. I got dressed and didn't have to worry about hiding my bump because my stomach was still flat. I went for a skirt and white blouse.

"Babe, I'll be out in a minute." Adam told me as he looked for his shoes.

"I'm going alone Adam. You stay here and watch Leah."

"Atleast let me drive-"

"There's a driver outside, I'm fine."

"Sorry, just getting a little worried about little bean here." He said, placing a gentle kiss on my stomach.

"I'm fine." I repeated, a little harsher than intended. Adam nodded in response and opened the door for me.

"Hope the meeting goes well."

"Thanks. I love you. Bye!"

"Bye!" He called before closing the door.

I stood in the elevator with my security guard which had been waiting outside my door for me. There wasn't too much paparazzi so I managed to get into the black suv pretty quickly. Soon enough we were at the office building and making our way to the room the meeting was being held in.

I took a seat at the table at which sat people which worked at my label, including Scott Borchetta; Tree, my publicist; my management and myself. There were about 8 of us there.

"So, let's get right into this then." Scott began. "When are you expecting to release your next album?" I thought about when the baby would arrive in July this year.

"Well I want to raise my daughter so I don't want to release anything whilst she's still young. I also would still want a fall release. So possibly October next year?"

"Would you plan on touring?"

I sigh. I had thought about this a lot and it was something about my career I lived but became complicated when my family was involved and I might not be able to see them.

"I still want to tour. I really do. I guess just have fewer dates and have the dates more spread out so I have time to spend with my family too? Would that be okay?"

"That could work, I don't see why not. You fly private anyway, correct?" Kelsey from my management asked me.

"Yes, I've got a private jet.".

"Okay, then flights won't be an issue so we can easily make sure you have time to fly home between tour dates..." She says before jotting some things on paper.

"How are you planning on adressing a break to your fans?" Tree, my publicist, asks me.

"I'm not sure yet. I just know I want to be direct about it. I don't want to lie to them or have them expect an album this year and then have to face the disappointment when I don't release one..."

"Okay, how about you try and write a letter explaining your choice of taking a year off and then we can work it out from there?" The red head asks.

I nod my head and agree to the idea.

I loved my fans and I knew they loved me.  Surely they would understand.

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This is trash I'm sorry.
Thank you for 5.5k - that's insane x