Tayvin | Better Than This

23 》 It would ruin everything

Taylor's POV

My original plan was to spend the rest of the day with Leah to make up for the fact I wasn't able to go the zoo. As I walked towards the living room where I had left her, a feeling which had become all too familiar today hits me and I dart down the hall to the bathroom.

I hug the toilet bowl, emptying my stomach. I feel someone walk in. At first I think it's Adam but then I realise it's Leah.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" She asks.

"I'm just sick, baby." I tell her, offering a smile.

"You're dying..." She whispers, barely audible.

"No, No I'm not dy-"

I couldn't even finish my sentence before she starts crying and runs out the room. I feel bad but can't help it when I turn around and continue to throw up.

I sit there groaning and Adam comes in with an upset looking little girl in his arms.

"What's going on in here?" Adam asks. "Oh, you really are sick..."

"I told you mommy was dying, daddy." Leah mumbles.

"She's not dying, bug. Just a little sick." Adam assures her. "Now why don't you go carry on building your castle and then I'll come join you very, very soon."

Leah nods slowly and reluctantly leaves the room to go back to her duplo blocks.

"Babe, are you ok?" Adam asks, rubbing small circles on my back.

"I think I've just caught something but I'll be fine." I say, forcing a small smile.  I go to the sink and brush my teeth to get rid of the horrible taste that had been left in my mouth.

"Tay...?" Adam whispers.

"Yeah..." I turn around to see Adam holding the pregnancy tests which I had left in the plastic bag on the floor.

"Are you...?"

"Am I what?" I ask stupidly, quite obviously knowing exactly what he meant.

"Pregnant?" He whispers.

"No." I mumble.

"So you've taken a test?" He asks calmly.

"No..."

"Do you think you might be?"

"I know my own body Adam! I would know if I'm pregnant!" I shout at him. Truth is, I think I might be. But I don't want to be. I'd  be being a bad mother to Leah to get pregnant not long after we had adopted her. She needed all my attention. A baby - it would ruin everything.

"Tay, please look at me." He says, pulling me closer to his chest. I look up into his green eyes and he wipes the tears falling down my cheeks. "Why are you crying?" He asks.

"I'm scared...what if I am?"

"Then it will be great news Taylor. And if you're not, that's ok too. Now please take the test, babe."

"You don't understand Adam. A baby would ruin everything! How am I supposed to be a good mother to Leah if I'm pregnant or looking after a new born!?"

"Hey, shhh..." He whispers, stroking my hair and kissing my forehead. His actions calm me down a little and he starts to speak. "Please Taylor?" He whispers.

I nod and say, "Not now though, I want to go and spend time with Leah."
Adam smiles and follows me into the living room where we sit down and help Leah build the castle she had been desperate to contruct.