Love? ; kth [book 2] |✔

5

Dear diary,

I've been talking to taehyung more often. We text each other at least once a day. I think it takes our minds off of our sadness. Talking to him so much makes me realise just how much he has changed over the time I was away. He has lost that childish spark he had. He always seems tired. Like he is tired of life. That scares me.

What Jungkook asked me the other day still haunts me. I can't stop thinking about how his face looked so hopeful, almost as if he was sure I'd be able to bring taehyung back to his old self. But how am I supposed to do that when I don't even know if I can bring my old self back? How am I supposed to make him smile when I don't even know how to do it myself?

Today I saw him with that blank expression on his face in therapy again. It's as if he isn't able to tell anyone how he feels. Like he doesn't want to tell anyone how he feels. I guess someone from bangtan forced him to attend therapy. I think he is scared of opening up to people now, maybe because someone hurt him?

I have stopped trying to talk to my parents because I realised that they really don't care. Instead, I just talk to my little brother Tae Oh, who is in high school whenever I feel lonely. He's the only family I have now. We have decided that he'll come live with me after he finishes school, which makes me really happy. I love my little brother.

I also talk to the rest of bts everyday. I've realised that they really are my true friends. They are really kind and all of them just radiate happiness, which is exactly what me and taehyung need, I think. But somehow, even when I'm with them, my mind wanders to that dark place where all the depressing thoughts lie. And I think they notice but they know better than to ask me about it. They just try to make me laugh when they notice it happening. I'm really grateful that I have friends like them in my life.

Yoo Ra
3/4/17

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I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M S O R R Y

I know I didn't update for three days and you have every right to kill me but hear me out first!

The reason for not updating is that I had a fever for the past two days and I felt cold and was sitting in a blanket even though it's like 34 degrees here! I also had this really bad headache and I felt like my head would explode so sorry! I couldn't write! I'll make it up to you guys! You just wait!

Forgive me? Please?