Possible Trigger Warning: schizophrenia, depression, self harm, and other things that could possible trigger. Take care of yourself:)
Date(s) Written: 4.4.17
Josh helped Tyler carry the bags in from the car, because he found out Tyler meant by "big project" was about two weeks of staying with Josh, when Josh just thought it was going to be a few days. He wasn't arguing with it though, he actually enjoyed the fact they would be able to be together longer.
Tyler seemed far more gathered to Josh than he was in the car just before they drove to Josh's house. Tyler was way better in his own mind. The voices told him to go back before. They told him to run to the blade again. Just like he had before he met Josh. As soon as Josh got into the car, the voices stopped. They faded away instantly when Josh wrapped his arm around Tyler. Although Tyler loved that Josh was able to do this for Tyler, Tyler was shocked. No one or anything had been able to do anything like that, except for his blade.
This, in itself, made Tyler not only want, but need Josh in his life. Tyler would've ran home and into his bathroom if he hadn't know Josh at this time. Nothing had triggered the voices. They come randomly at the most unexpected times. Even when you're about to tell your boyfriend you can stay at his apartment for a few weeks, the voices won't hold back for anything.
When the voices first started in sixth grade, Tyler battled with himself more than anything. He felt betrayed that his own mind would do this to him. It petrified him throughout the day and even the night. Then, his mom found him one day crying in the bathroom. Everything changed. It became counseling on Wednesdays and antidepressants every day. His mom and dad never made an effort to understand him. They ran to others with their money, because that can fix everything. More proof for the fact that money literally cannot buy happiness. When he had finally reached the highest and heaviest antidepressant and still didn't feel happy, the doctors and his parents lost hope basically. His counselor no longer attempted to have Tyler work on things that could make him happy. Not only had Tyler lost his hope, but so had everyone else. And it broke him. For years, he just wanted it to end. He thought it would be grand if one day he just hit a vein and bled out. But he stayed. And thank God for it.
Now he stood in Joshua's room along with Josh. They threw his bags on the one bed in the entire house, and stood awkwardly. They had never hung out for very long. Especially not two weeks, which is what they were in for. Each of them hoped mentally that they wouldn't get annoyed with each other.
"Want to order some pizza for dinner?" Josh asked putting his hands in his pocket, and walking over to the side of the bed where Tyler was standing.
"Mmmm, yeah!"
"Let's go watch some TV, and I'll order it." Josh smiled and took Tyler's hand while they walked down the hallway and into the living room.
"Joshua you need a bigger couch." Tyler said as sat down on the small couch.
"But that means I wouldn't have an excuse to spoon you anymore." Josh said taking Tyler in his arms, and laying down.
"An excuse?" Tyler said playfully acting like he was offended, and trying to escape the arms he wanted to forever be in.
They lightly laughed together for a moment and went on watching The Office.
When the pizza had finally arrived, Tyler was asleep in Josh's arms. How did he fall asleep so freaking fast? Josh asked himself as he carefully set Tyler down out of his arms.
Josh woke Tyler by kissing him on the cheek, and this made Tyler grin from ear to ear.
"Pizza is here, Ty." Josh said walking over to serve them some plates. Tyler stretched out on the couch. His back hurt like hell from the tiny couch, but he wouldn't have wanted to wake up any other place and/or any other way.
They chowed down together sitting criss cross on the couch, while still watching The Office. Neither said a word, but it was the same comfortable quiet that they always fit into in times like these. Yet, they both had the worries in the back of their minds.
Why was Tyler so upset earlier?
How am I gonna tell Josh without making him think I'm absolutely bonkers?
A/N: srry for the filler. i'm stressed rn, but bought a ukulele so yay me.
have a lovely day/night :)
xtra: ugh this was short , i'll maybe write more later.
