Deeper (5SOS Ashton Irwin Fanfic)

Chapter 24

Ashton’s POV:

Damn every week keeps getting better & better doesn’t it?

The old Mondays used to drain me physically & emotionally to the point of no return. Now I wake up with a smile on my face & a spring in my step. The thought of going to school & seeing someone who truly cares deeply for me warms my heart enough to start a wild fire.

The week blows by, nothing really significant happening. I spend almost everyday after school with Lily somehow. Whether it be us going out to dinner, going back to her house, or just hanging out in my car, talking about anything & everything. She’s the light of my days, the sunshine in my storm.

I love her more than life itself.

Its crazy to think that all of this is happening right now. I’ve only ever dreamed about being with her. The lonely & dark nights spent staring into oblivion, thoughts being haunted by the reality of my sorrow & cries for help, were always somehow accompanied by her smiling face & elegant being. Thoughts were made to destroy you, crumble you into a million little pieces & make sure you were never the same. She was the exception.

She was my savior.

Last period on Friday rolls around quickly as I walk into Mr. Poyer’s classroom. As usual, I’m the first one in there. I would meet Lily so we could walk together, but her class before this one is on the other side of the school. I take my usual seat in the back of the room & fish out my notebook. Little doodles are drawn in the margins as people begin to file in. Everything from stick figures to flowers & even poetry is being stenciled into my paper, mind going blank & focusing on the way the pencil moves in my fingertips. But, just as the bell rings, my canvas is pulled away from me. I look up to find a cheeky smile stained on the face of none other than Ms. Harlamert. She offers me an eyebrow before glancing at my drawings.

“Nonono,” I begin, reaching for my notebook. Shooing me away, she takes her seat & runs her eyes over my paper. My hands fly everywhere, attempting to take back whats rightfully mine. But she just hits my hands & giggles, still scanning the sheet. Throwing my hands up, I sulk back in my seat in defeat. After a few more seconds, she hands it back with a loving smile.

“Its cute, Ash.” she mumbles, low enough so Mr. Poyer doesn’t hear us & yell at us for not listening to his lecture. Again.

I shrug it off & snatch back my notebook, returning to my doodling while she plays with her phone under her desk.

The final bell rings & we run out of the classroom hand in hand. The usual walk back to her locker goes normally as we talk about weekend plans. The doors out to the parking lot open as a cold winters air tickles my cheeks. I’d been aware of the changing temperatures, but it didn’t really hit me until now. Fingers claps around Lily’s a bit tighter, breathing in the cold & getting my body used to it. She doesn’t seem fazed though as we walk out to my car. We’d thought in the beginning it’d be too much of a hassle for me to pick her up every morning, but we coped. Just a few extra minutes alone was pure bliss, & I’d sacrifice anything for that.

Lily’s POV:

On the walk back to Ashton’s car, my mind swims & turns with endless possibilities of word combinations I could say for how I’m feeling. So its obvious I really like him, like wow I never imagined I would be this connected to him. I spend almost every dying & breathing second with him, & its incredibly lovely. But something still lies in the back of my mind.

We’ve had our fair share of make out sessions & heated moments, & the weird thing is is that I’ve always been comfortable with him. Like every other guy I’ve ever been with, I’ve been nervous or jumpy or just not comfortable with what happened. But with Ashton, it’s natural, easy. & this is what makes me know he’s the one.

We reach his car & I hop in the passenger’s seat. He’s in right after me & starts up the car. It struggles, but eventually roars to life. Taking off, he turns up the radio a bit & taps his fingers on the steering wheel, a usual habit for him I’ve found out. After a lot of debating, I formulate what I think I wanna say. Here goes nothing, I think.

“Hey Ash?” I manage, looking down at my hands. I see him out of the corner of my eye turn his head towards me, as my cheeks break out into fire.

“Yes Lil?”

“So my parents are out of town again this weekend & I was wondering if you maybe wanted to come over & you could sleep over again?” I try with a questioning voice. I look up to see a smirk plastered on his lips, eyebrows raised up slightly.

“Well I mean of course I’d like to. I’d love to actually.” he says, chuckling a bit afterwards. Now comes the hard part.

“Well good… & um okay. This is gonna sound weird but every other guy I’ve ever dated has made me uncomfortable or nervous when it comes to contact & whatever. But you don’t…. like I’m comfortable with you ya know?” I begin. He’s stopped at a stop light & now looks at me full on, obviously paying full attention to me & what I have to say. An imaginary trickle of sweat runs down my neck as I struggle to begin again. “& well like if you’re okay with it, I most certainly am because I trust you & love you more than anything ever. Do you maybe wanna… I dunno…” I try, cheeks burning with heat & color. Forcing myself to meet his eyes, I find them swimming with a darker shade of hazel & more brown. His lips are formed into a slight smile as he reaches for my hand. Kisses are placed on the back of it, eyes still in contact with mine. Placing one last kiss on my hand, he replies in a low & raspy voice.

“Lily, I’d love that."