Cube Smp Imagines/Preferences

help- poke

for thecubesglader 

*warning sensitive topics* 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

y/n pov.

poke and i were sat in the vidcon house while everyone else was out, we decided to watch 13 reasons why on netflix since it'd been everywhere recently.

"this is such bullshit, killing yourself is nothing to make a tv show about" he muttered out, i glanced over to him before turning back to the tv.

"i think its great that they're using modern media to represent such a touchy subject" i spoke back hoping poke would get the gist that he should shut up.

"your such a hypocrite" i turned to him and frowned "Why the fuck you would you say that" he sighed and rubbed his eyebrows.

"it doesnt matter y/n" i stood up and looked at him "No it does matter! tell me. cause you can't just call me that without a reason" i wasn't sure why poke was calling me that when he started this conversation.

"You want to be Hannah baker! why should you care about raising awareness when you're thinking about doing it yourself" i looked at him shocked. taking a step back before he stood up himself.

"h-how?" i muttered out blinking at how he found out when know one did.

"Does it look like i'm a fucking idiot Y/n everyone can see your goddamn arms, you just want attention." i felt like i couldnt breath when he spoke those words to me. subconsciously i tugged my shirt down my arms.

"And your thoughts, yeah maybe i wouldn't know if you didn't leave your goddamn journal around huh. 'i couldn't handle today, it was to much....the thoughts returned maybe i should'" i felt the tears slide down my cheek.

"you shouldn't of read that" i gasped out. looking down as i saw more anger bubbling up in him.

"your such a selfish bitch y/n! why the fuck would you even think that...DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE LOOK UP TO YOU!" i couldnt do anything, i stood there cause i knew i deserved it.

" Thats not my fault they look up to a fuck up!" i scream back at him, i see his eyes darken before he rushed over to me and pulled the sleeve of my shirt up and raised it. "why dont you show them that then" he whispered to me before he dropped my arm, i glanced to the doorway and saw everyone with their cameras out and a worried look on their faces.

i looked down and rushed through them and up the stairs into my room. i slammed the door shut and slid down it as a waterfall of tears rushed from my eyes. I Sat there and couldn't feel anything...."how could you" i mumbled out.

seconds later i heard 3 familiar voices. "Y/n, please let us in...we want to help" i heard isaac speak. i reach up and unlock the door before crawling and leaning against the bed.

they opened the door slowly before it revealed a tear stained girl, with cuts up her arms....the mess i am.

"y/n" darach said before frowning and sitting next to me "please..don't think like this..you're a survivor." he smiled before leaning his head against mine and rubbed my arm. straub and isaac came and sat down next to me and spoke about nonsense for an hour to get me to smile. 

but their efforts were interrupted by a knock on the door. My 3 friends all looked to me before i nodded and isaac stood up and answered the door.

"get out of here dude!" isaac yelled before he got pushed backwards. "fuck off isaac, y/n please can i just speak to you" i looked down before making eye contact with poke. 

"fine" my voice was small and timid. i nodded to isaac, darach and straub for them to leave. i pulled myself up to sit on the bed as poke shut the door behind them before sitting next to me.

"im not here to say sorry y/n because it's selfish you think that way!" he spoke harshly before i slapped his cheek.

"you have no clue what im going through and you couldn't even start to imagine the things that have happened to me." i yell at him knowing i wanted the voice in this conversation.

"y/n-"

"So dont burst in here and say im a attention whore, or selfish cause you wouldn't even know where to start with my problems" i threw my arms up before crossing them.

"y/n-"

"I'VE CRIED OUT FOR HELP POKE AND KNOW ONE LISTENS-" i got interrupted by him kissing me.

"im listening, i only called you those things cause i'm scared to lose you....i dont want to lose you please" he cried out before running his hands through his hair.

"then just let me know your actually here for me" i spoke softer this time before i consoled a crying poke. 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i decided to do this request before others because a person i knew killed himself last monday...seeing everyone so hurt i decided its selfish to kill yourself... he had just won the cricket season...and he just jumped out of a car. i just thought he had everything, he was the perfect person, but i guess not. care for people you love and those around you.

please seek help if your thinking of hurting yourself....i really do suggest watching 13 reasons why cause you get a sense of what your doing to the people your leaving behind...

requests are still closed until i catch up.

stay safe please.
contact me if you want to talk about any problems. i can try help.