just keep swimming | l.h.

8

Luke was already waiting at the station and all he said to greet me was:"I've never done what I'm going to do, you should feel honored"

No apologize, not even an explaination. Just that. I was about to turn around and get back home but I could literally feel Luke's nervousity and It made me feel like I should give him a chance.

Neither of us talked throughout the drive and when we got out of the subway, I just walked behind Luke quietly.

Suddenly I knew where we were heading. It was the graveyard.

"What is this gonna be?" I asked Luke suspiciously, he obviously knew about my dead dad but why would he visit his grave with me to say sorry for being a prick?

Luke just shush'ed me and went into the opposite direction of my dads grave.

A bit later, we seemed to have reached our destination, Luke just stood there staring at one of the graves.

I followed his gaze and read the name on the stone

"Joshua Hemmings"

I read further and after a little saying, I saw the dates.

"*08.10.1998 +12.11.2009"

I covered my mouth with my hand, pointed at the grave and simply asked:"Your brother?"

Luke just nodded, he was close to tears.

We stood there in silence for a few more minutes, then Luke said:"Let's go"

Quietly we left the graveyard and as I felt so bad for Luke, I grabbed his hand and held it tight. We kept holding hands, even in the subway that took us to my home station again.

Luke got out with me and we made our way to the small beach we first really recognized each other and just then, Luke let go of my hand. I sat down and he stood in front of me, as he suddenly began talking.

"He was just 11. It was winter, the streets were frozen. Mum was driving, Josh and I sat on the backseats, messing around. I'm the older one, I should've stopped fighting him when mum turned around and told us that we were distracting here, but my brother and me kept arguing about this silly game, so mum turned around again and there was this truck and..."

Luke couldn't continue talking through his sobs. I was quietly crying aswell when I got up and hugged Luke tightly.

It took him a while to calm down and when he did, he chuckled ironically and said:"It was my fault, Bella. My whole family blames me."

I shook my head no.

"That's not true Luke, it was an accident."

"But If it wasn't for me it wouldn't have happened" Luke answered and bent down to burry his head in the crook of my neck again.

I rubbed his back and told him "I'm so so sorry Luke"

I could basically feel his little smile on my cheek.

"My family hasn't been the same ever since. I don't know if my father ever talked to me after it happened, he's barely home anyway and mum just went kind of crazy but she refuses to get help. Ben, my other brother who moved out a while ago is the only one that doesn't even secretly give me the fault, but I don't get to see him a lot either. My whole family blames me for this, Bella, and so do I. My family isn't perfect at all."

It was crazy how much Luke just opened up to me and I felt so uncomfortable because I didn't know what else to do than hug him and tell him how sorry i was over and over, but he didn't seem to mind.