just keep swimming | l.h.

13

I felt like complete and utter shit when I came home. I turned Luke down, which sucked because I actually genuinely liked him a lot and which sucked even more because I made him sad, which hurt me aswell.

I was happy that my mum was out with friends and my brother was too busy with his video games to care so nobody noticed me crying.

I felt this bad even though it was ME who let Luke down, so I couldn't even imagine how Luke felt right now and it made me feel even worse.

I put my headphones on and started listening to the songs Michael just sent me, he said they were sad so I figured they would fit my mood perfectly.

"How to save a life" by the Fray was the first song I listend to, but this wasn't the original, it was actually a cover and it only took me a few seconds to realize, that the one whom's cover I was listening to was Luke.

I threw off the headphones and started crying some more until I realized how ridiculous all of this was - I had to tell Luke about my real feelings even though it was hard, I couldn't stand that I had hurt him.

I always thought It was easier to write a person about your true feelings than to talk to them and I knew that sucked but I just got my phone out and texted Luke:"I'm sorry if I hurted you"

"Great Bella" I thought to myself, "this is obviously the best way to express your feelings"

I couldn't even write about my feelings towards Luke and that really really sucked.

"You didn't?! :-D I wouldn't want to be anything more than friends anyways so no need to be sorry"

It literally felt like somebody just kicked me into the stomach, was Luke just being mean to cover up his real feelings or was he serious? Whatever it was, both was shitty as hell.

****

Somehow I must have fallen asleep while crying because it was about 10pm when I woke up again.

It was dark outside, but not pitch black quite yet. I went to the kitchen to get something to drink and on my way there I crossed the living room, where a piece of paper layed on the floor next to the door.

"Beach at 10" it said and I was pretty sure that this note was for me because I recognized the handwriting.

I hated being out alone that late, but it was already 8 minutes after 10pm and I did not want to miss out on this opportunity to apologize to Luke and tell him what was really going on on the inside.

I quickly wrote a note for my mum if she might come back earlier than me, then I grabbed my vans and my keys and hurried out of the door while putting on my shoes.

Just as I walked out of the house, I noticed how cold it was, the nights where still quite chilly, but I didn't want to waste time and get a jacket.

I made it to the beach in record time and I could see Luke, facing the water, soon.

He turned around as he heard me and walked towards me.

"Um hey" I said awkwardly as I stood in front of the tall boy, but he just said "I don't want to forget", then he leaned down and kissed me.

It was quite a long kiss, not wet and disgusting like my first kiss, which I got a long while ago, but passionate and beautiful and it felt like the best thing on earth.

I smiled against Luke's lips, then I pulled away a bit and said:"That's what I wanted to tell you"

I tip toed to kiss Luke again, who wrapped his arms around my waist and held my body pressed against his for quite a while.