just keep swimming | l.h.

21

After Michael told us about the car crash everything started to be blurry in my brain, I had too many questions but I wasn't able to ask them at that moment and I felt Luke's anxiety as he grabbed my hand and I held his tight.

"Are they okay?" Jaime was the first one to be able to say anything.

Michael just shook his head and looked around confused.

"I - I don't know, Calum said he's gonna be taken to the hospital and that Ashton was bleeding really badly and they've taken him away already, he -" Michael suddenly wasn't able to talk anymore and he started to shake so I went over to him and hugged him from the side.

"- he might be badly injured, Calum doesn't know what's wrong with Ash yet" Michael finished the sentence after a deep breath.

"We gotta head to the hospital" Luke suddenly said in a really low voice as he stared through all of us.

"Are any of you able to drive?" I asked and Larry nodded.

"I guess I should drive you guys"

- - -

A few minutes later we arrived at the hospital and were told that Calum was currently getting checked on by a doctor and that he'd be alright eventually but nobody could tell us where Ashton was or in which condition he was at that moment.

We all were sent to a waiting room where Calum's mum and Ashton's parents waited already.

I tried to give them a small smile and Calum's mum returned it but Ashton's parents just stared through us blankly, it had to be terrible to not know what was happening with your own son.

I sat down besides Luke and took his hand in mine.

"You alright?" I whispered, I didn't dare to speak loudly since everyone was just silently staring around.

Luke slightly shook his head and I leaned my head against his shoulder as I realized what just happened and that I might not be able to ever see Ashton again and I quickly excused myself to the bathroom where I broke down on one of the toilet seats and started sobbing.

After a few minutes I tried to fix my makeup and went out of the bathroom to find Luke leaning against the wall next to it.

He didn't say anything, he just walked up to me and hugged me as tight as possible.

Suddenly I saw a nurse rushing out of an emergency room and I ran over to her to ask if she knew anything about Ashton.

"Sister?" she asked and I shook my head.

"Friend"

"Sorry I can't tell you then. Family first."

She motioned at the door to ask if any familymembers were in there and I quietly nodded as she opened the door and got Ashton's parents out of there to talk to them.

Just a few moments later, Ashton's mum told us that Ashton was currently in the emergency room and that his status was still critcial because he kept loosing blood but the doctors would do everything they could.

After that, Ashton's mum broke down in tears and Luke stormed out of the room.

I quickly murmured:"Excuse me" stroked Michael's arm, who looked close to a break down and ran after Luke.

I had to search for Luke for a while but I found him sitting on a bench in the small park behind the hospital.

He had his face burried in his hands and he looked strangely small and vulnerable.

I sat down besides him and threw my arms around him. After a few seconds he removed his hands from his face and I could see how devestated he looked.

I didn't say a thing, I just hugged him and let him rest his head on the crook of my neck.

"This reminds me of Josh so much" Luke quietly said and began to cry on my shoulder silently.

"It was the same damn hospital, maybe even the same damn room, the same doctors and once again it is my damn fault."

I began to tear up. "No its not Luke, none of the accidents have been your fault"

Luke just kept quiet but I could feel how he tensed up and soon he let go of our hug and said:"Bella. Stop. It is my fault and both of us know that."

Why did he have to be so stubborn? I didn't want to start an argument so I just took his hand in mine and started to play with his fingers.

"This is so weird. It's been the first time since Josh died that I actually cried"

My eyes widened:"You've kept all of that inside for that many years?"

Luke nodded and tried to give me the hint of a smile but I just squeezed his hand and asked:"Are you able to go back in?"

Luke nodded and we went back to the waiting room as we saw Calum making his way over to the waiting room with an old nurse by his side.

As Calum spotted Luke, he hurried over and hugged him tightly. I could see him whisper "Sorry" into Luke's ear as they kept hugging and I saw that Luke shed a few more tears but he quickly wiped them away as I hugged Calum aswell.

I was more than happy to see him and know that nothing besides a broken wrist and arm and a few bruises happened to him.

We went into the waiting room where the big crying began as everyone but Ashton's parents hugged Calum and made sure that he was alright.

"We better go home now" Calum's mum said but Calum shook his head:"Go home, mum, It's fine! I'll stay here and wait"

Calum's mum smiled at her son understandingly and backed off slowly after saying goodbye.

An hour after Calum's mum left, a nurse opened the door.

She looked at Ashton's parents and asked them to have a talk but Ash's mum said:"Just say it out loud, his friends should know everything aswell."

"I am really sorry to tell you this but Ashton's heart just stopped beating"

*****

A/N: This note will be really short because I better start running before any of you find me and kill me for this chapter :D

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