Insight

*Seven Deadly Sins*

It starts with me. A boy named Malik. This is something that I try to think about as little as possible, but instead of shunning these memories, I've decided to come to terms with them. What is this you might be asking. It's a story, the story of my quest for love, from when I first discovered it, to where I am now. I could go as far back as primary school but I had quite a few relationships during that time period and I don't remember most, if not any of them. One vague detail I'll never forget though was in grade 2. There was this girl I really liked, and she liked me. One day we were walking back to class and she pulled me into the girl's washroom and kissed me. That's something I'll never forget. But alas, I digress. Although this is pretty sensitive for me, not too sensitive but just emotionally I hate it, it's not something I like to talk about or share with others, for reasons you'll soon find out. But alas, my story begins here. Grade 7.

2013-2014

When I first got into grade 7, I went to Roosevelt Middle School, age 12. For the first month and a half or so that I spent there I was in a distanced relationship with this girl named Emily. We wrote letters to each other because it was before I had an actual phone. Then it ended shortly before I moved.

-Continuing from that same year I had moved. I moved schools as well and at this point I'm now going to Hayward Middle School. There was a girl in my homeroom class named Eran, I had a huge crush on her but I didn't tell her because I was too scared, remember this, it's key for later.

The first person at this point was my current friend named Alexis. She'd walk with me and my friends home from school and we had gotten decently close over time. I found out that she had a crush on me and she asked me out. I said yes and I believe we dated for a month before we had to break up due to the fact that she wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend. We always passed notes in between classes and talked on our ways home. It was a good relationship that sadly had to be cut short. At one point over the summer of 2016 we hung out at a school with some of my other friends (a couple of them were her brothers) and we made out even though we weren't together at the time. I'm not exactly sure if she still has a crush on me but it doesn't matter anymore.

Next was a girl named Jaylin, although we only dated for a few days, probably a week and a half or so at most so not really much development there.

*Next was again another current friend of mine, if anything one of the closest. My friend Amanda. I became friends with her and her group a bit after I moved to Hayward and she and her best friend would always walk with me and my friends as well. I asked her out and she needed time to think. When we were walking and we parted ways she came back to me and told me yes. Again because I didn't have a phone at the time, we could only talk at school and on our ways home. I really did like her, I liked her alot. I had hoped that she did too, and well it wasn't that she didn't, but she just didn't like me enough that way in that sense from what I understand. After a couple weeks she broke up with me and yea it hurt a bit, but we stayed friends and got closer over time. A few months ago, about August or September-ish, maybe sometime before then. I got a bit drunk and texted her. I told her that I missed her and I wanted to try again. At that time, especially that specific moment I still liked her a lot, I'd even go as far as to say I was in love with her. But alas it didn't happen. We stayed close friends and we still are.

*Next is another current friend but I don't exactly talk to her as much anymore. Although that is the case I still consider her a friend. Her name is Annie, or Savannah. Over Christmas vacation I started talking to her on Facebook and became friends with her. I hadn't realised it at the time until we got back but she was in my 10th period class and didn't really sit too far from me. We talked and I asked her out and she said yes. Around this time I had gotten a "phone", but it was a pretty shitty tracfone that kinda wasn't mine, I was just using it. So it didn't really count. I talked to her a lot on that, this was the second time I've fallen in love with someone since Alexis, she was really special to me and I loved her lots. Everyday after school we'd go to the back and make out for a bit before we parted ways. One time when I was home alone, I went to meet her at a store close to her house and I saw her for a little bit. That was a great night I was really happy. We did a few things together and talked about sex a bit. She was supposed to be my first but I kinda choked whenever I had the opportunity, which wasn't exactly often. We dated for just a bit over a month but we kinda just grew apart. So I broke up with her. We stayed close friends after that and even now I still consider her a close friend, whether I talk to her or not.