Forgive Me , Maybe ?

Chapter 5

"Marla , I just got out of a relationship ,please don't cry , I just don't feel like I'm ready to get in a new one yet"said Shawn

"I'm not crying "said Marla with red eyes and a red face . "It's not like you just used me for pleasure or anything " she said in a sarcastic tone .

"Marla ..."

" no,no it's fine , it's not like it's something I'm not used too " she said with her voice breaking down .

Shawn reached the front of my house ."Marla.." he tried to say something again but I quickly exit the car and ran inside my house . I stood in front of the door feeling disgusting with my self once again.

"Marla theirs pizza on the table if you want s..."said my brother coming out of the kitchen . He realized that I've been crying and asked "hey sis ,what's wrong "

"Nothing " I quickly replied because I didn't want him to feel repulsive toward me too.
"Marla you know you can speak to me about everything right , I know I'm an as$hole at times but , I'm still your older brother

" I know but I just want to go to sleep right now K ,l promise if theirs something you can help me with I will come speak to you about it "

" K I love you , although I don't show it enough "

"Wish I could say the same " I said with a small playful smile on my lips while making my way back up the stairs . I turned to look back at him and saw him giving me a playful glare . I gave him a small laugh and turn making my way Down the hall to my room . This was what I loved about my brother . His heart was small .very very small but no Matter how small . I know I had a little space inside of it .

I went to my room took my pregnancy pill , change into James's sweater that I stole a couple days ago in the laundry room . It was to big for me but that's the reason why I liked it . I put on some volleyball shorts , grabbing my tub of ice cream,sat on my bed . I got very comfortable than realized I forgot to get the remote for the small tv in my room .

" GOT DAMN IT " I yelled irritated.
I got up ,grab the remote and went back to my perfect spot . I went on Cartoon Network and realized the were giving one of my favorite cartoons called the amazing world of gumball.

I got distracted and ended up falling asleep . I couple hours later . I woke up to a consistent vibration coming from my phone . I picked it up looked at the screen and instantly regretted it .

It was a bunch of messages telling me about how much of a whore I was , and how fake I was for sleeping with my best friend's boyfriend . Some of the numbers I didn't even recognize . I feel myself turn red and my eyes begin to water . At this point I just wanted to be held by someone . I tried to get of my bed but than I heard something fall the the ground . I looked down and saw my unfinished melted tub of ice cream on the floor . Can't anything go right today .
I got off my bed and ran down the hall to my brothers room .

I roughly pushed open the door and what I saw shook me.

My brother was pounding into a small boy . My older brother was gay .

"Marla what the f$ck!" He exclaimed loudly .

" I should be asking you that .!" I yelled looking at the twink then back at him .

The small boy was trying to quickly put his clothes back on .

" Marla .. I know what your thinking and it's really not what it looks like " he said with a look of distress on his face . The small boy quickly ran passed me by the door , bumping into me and not apologizing, how rude .

" so you were not just having sex with a guy "

"Well yes but I'm not gay "he said lowly .
" umm .. are you bisexual " I said with a confused look on my face .

" no I'm straight " he said with a plain look on his face and almost pleading eyes. Is he dumb or is he stupid?
"James , honey , you can be straight if your sleeping with boys " I said acting like I was speaking to a 5 year old .

" I know but .... I was simply exploring, yea exploring "

" it seems like your trying to convince yourself than convince me " I replied with a disenchanted look . "Look I'm ok with you being gay " I said letting it all seep in .

" yea but are mom and dad?" Now I realized why he was so quick to deny it. He's right there probably not gonna be too gleeful about it .

I walked up too him to give him a hug but stop my track when I realized that he was standing in front of me with nothing but a blanket wrap around his waist.

"Eww , James please put some clothes on " I said with a disgusted tone and turning around . I heard him laugh than heard shuffling behind me . A couple seconds later He said " I'm done "
I turn and saw him wearing a white shirt and his pajama bottoms , I gave him a sad smile and ran u to him .

" it's ok lil sis we'll get through this,after all you can't spell rainbow without rain " he said hugging me while balancing slowly from side to side .

" hey!!!! Is that my sweater!"

" no!" I Said with a guilty smile looking up at him "

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