irl

Chapter 10

"What flavor do you think you're getting?" Phil inquired, as the pair entered the small ice cream shop.
"I dunno yet. Probably plain chocolate, though."
"Really? I'm personally more of a vanilla person," Phil said, smiling.
"Well I'm sorry if we have opposing tastes in ice cream flavor!" Dan joked. "Hey, I've gotta use the bathroom, order for me? Thanks," Dan said, leaving before Phil could oppose.

"Hello," the girl at the counter waved to Phil. He walked over.
"Hi! I'm here to get some ice cream... well I guess that's kind of obvious, isn't it?"
"Oh, that's okay, I get it," she smiled, leaning towards Phil. "What'll it be for you?" He leaned even closer. "What's your desire?" She asked, putting her head in her hands, still leaning forward on the counter.
"One vanilla in a cone, and-"
"Vanilla is my favorite, is it yours?" The girl asked excitedly, almost completely ignoring the fact that he was ordering ice cream.
"Yes, it is. That's why I ordered it," Phil said, cocking an eyebrow. He was increasingly becoming uncomfortable with the girl's flirty tone and closeness to him.

Dan returned from the bathroom, and Phil shot him an SOS glance. Dan had to save the day. He walked forward.

"Hey, babe, you get the ice cream yet?" He asked nonchalantly.
"Oh, is this your friend? You're both pretty cute, you know!" The girl said, blatantly flirting.
"He's gay. I'm gay. We're both gay, and dating," Dan stated, putting his arm around Phil. Just for good measure, he quickly pecked Phil's cheek. Phil went crimson at the action. Dan's mind was racing, wondering what made him so confident in the situation.

Usually I'd be so awkward.

"O-oh... well, uh, what was your order, then?" The girl asked with a nervous laugh, scratching the back of her neck.

~•~

"You had to kiss me?" Phil asked, as the two walked around in a local park, ice creams in hand.
"I was acting the part," Dan said, feeling his face heat up.

I also just wanted to do that but whatever...

"Well, it definitely worked. Did you see the look on her face!"
"Yeah, it was... pretty weird!" Dan said, face still reddened.
"You did a great job selling it, though," Phil admitted, patting Dan on the head.
"Yeah, I mean, it was like, I actually was, like, in love and dating you and stuff," Dan said, attempting to cover his stumbling on words.
"I think kissing me took it a bit too far, though..."
"Oh. Well, sorry I guess I didn't really-"
"I was joking, Dan, geez! I really didn't mind it, for the sake of saving my ass from that flirt."
"No problem, if I ever need to kiss you again, it's good to know I have your consent."

NOW WHY DID I SAY THAT?!

"Yes, dear friend, you do. Did you see her, though? She was all like, 'oohhhh, what's your favorite flavor? Are you single? Do you wanna get married?'" Phil said, leaning forwards on a bench, getting uncomfortably close to his face. He made his voice high, so it sounded nothing like an actual person's voice. Dan laughed at his representation of the ice cream employee.
"Ugh, back off, I'm gay," Dan said, shoving his hand in Phil's face. He had to get the other away from his face before he started turning red.
"O-oh... uh... WELP FUCK YOU BITCH!" He said, still using his girl voice.
"She didn't seem angry at us though, just extremely awkward...." Dan said, breaking the scene.
"I suppose so," Phil responded, dropping the fake voice.

An angry mother shot Phil a glare, holding her hands over the ears of her young child. Phil smiled nervously as he had realized that he cursed quite loudly in a public park. Dan laughed at him as the mother and her child walked away, Phil tried to shove Dan aside. This ultimately ended up with Dan falling into a bush.

"Jesus Christ, Phil! You didn't need to push me that hard," Dan said, getting up and brushing the leaves off his clothing.
"Well, you laughed at my misfortune."
"I wouldn't call that a misfortune, it's more of a mistake."
"Oh, shut up," Phil groaned, shoving Dan once more, this time less hard.
"And I thought we were friends! You know, friends do go around shoving each other," Dan joked.
"I sincerely apologize, my good man. I now realize what I have been doing is utterly upsetting to you, and wrong on my part. Will you accept my apology?" Phil stooped down on his knees and put his hands together as if praying to Dan.
"Nah, I'm good," Dan chuckled, waving him off. Phil stood again, laughing at their mock argument. "Oh, screw it, I could never stay mad at you!" Dan said, putting his arm around his friend's shoulder. "You're also my only friend, so I'd appreciate it if you stuck around," Dan whispered to him.
"I'm not going anywhere," Phil said with a smile that could light up the whole world.

Hello! Author person here!
When you write phan fiction rather than doing math homework... whoops.

Edit: holy shit I wrote this in April