irl

Chapter 18

Phil didn't get home until around eleven, and Dan was just in his normal couch crease position, on his laptop. When Phil came through the door, Dan sat up immediately.
"Well someone's home a little late," he chuckled.
"Sorry, mom," he joked, sitting down next to his friend. "It was kinda great, though. George is pretty awesome... and he kinda sorta maybe classified our dinner as a date?" Phil's face reddened and Dan raised his eyebrows, smirking.
"Isn't that a bit... odd, though? You guys barely know each other."
"Not after, like, four hours of just talking. I know a lot about him and he knows a lot about me. Oh! On that note, I have something to tell you."
"What's that?" He inquired, nervous that Phil was going to say that him and George were officially going out.
"My dad... well, he's a sperm donor. My mom never got married. Not to say she never fell in love, she just never stayed in a relationship long enough for marriage, but she wanted a kid. She still dates sometimes to this day, they never work out, though," he shrugged.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Dan's voice held a bit of hurt.
"It's just that it was difficult growing up without a dad... I didn't feel like talking about it."
"And you told George... before me?" Dan pulled his lips together into a tight line.
"Yeah... but I told you just now. Plus, you never asked about it again."
"To respect your privacy," Dan said, defeated. "But whatever, it's fine. I don't care," he waved it off.
"No, I'm-"
"It's fine, really. I can tell you like this guy, and for there to be a healthy relationship, there has to be trust, right?" Dan took ahold of Phil's shoulders while saying this.
"Y-yeah, I suppose so," he nodded. "Thanks, Dan, you're the best," he gave him a quick hug.
"Hey, I'm your best friend, and what're friends for," he grinned.
"Well, I'm exhausted, so I'm going to bed," Phil yawned as if on cue.
"I'm headed to my room, too," Dan said, shutting his laptop, catching Phil's yawn.

As Dan shut the door to his room, he sighed.

Best friends.

He plopped on his bed, allowing himself to fall backwards into the cushiony comforter. He stared at the blank ceiling, wishing that he has never even fallen for Phil and his warm eyes, his adorable smile, and loving personality.

"It's not like any of this is going to matter in the far future any way. No one's gonna remember my existence a hundred years from now, I'll just be another name, among many, lost in a void of time. It won't matter whether Phil decides to go out with George or not, whether I let my feelings go or just keep admiring Phil from afar. It all doesn't matter, yet I act like the world revolves around myself and complain about my crush not liking me back. I feel like a schoolgirl," he thought aloud, allowing his thoughts to go into a black hole of everything, yet nothing at the same time.
"What's our purpose in this incredibly short human life we have? To achieve something great, or to simply be happy with our life? It all seemed great when Phil moved in, but recently it's been kinda meh because of jobs and George. But why do I complain about such petty things, there are people out there with bigger problems than my love life. I guess it's more of what's important to me, than what's important to someone else. Still, why do I find it so hard to just... move on? Can I not be happy for my friend? He's surely happy, he's completely smitten and off in fairyland because of his little boyfriend, yet I cannot be happy for my friend," he turned himself over and yelled into his mattress.

It was true, though, no matter how hard he tried, he could only be jealous of George and his advancements in attracting Phil. George was doing more in two days than Dan could do in a few months. It didn't seem fair to him how something could progress so easily. Yet, it had happened and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

He vowed to himself to try harder to be happy for Phil and get over his stupid thoughts of envy.

Meanwhile, Phil lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, too. His mind floating on air, not a single care in the world. He thought of George and his wonderful night with him, and how terribly fast he was falling.

This is so not like me, this guy is able to attract me so easily! What is is about him that's got me wrapped around his finger, why can I not take my mind off of him? I wait in anticipation for the next time I see him, and I wonder if he's thinking the same thing right now, as I lay here.

~•~

George lay in the same position as both Dan and Phil, his back on his mattress. His eyes were trained on the blank ceiling, his mind swimming with thoughts.

Phil is such a precious person, and those eyes full of mirth and life! His personality is incredibly adorable, I've only hung with him once, (twice if you count the car ride) and yet he's got me intrigued. The way he talks and goes about, as if the world has no problems, as if he hasn't a care. Of course he has worries, he has fears, but he's skilled at hiding them underneath his coat of quirky happiness.

I'm not sure I completely love him yet, but he's definitely caught my attention.

Sorry not sorry ;3