A Good Kind of Change

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After Colin and I got through our emotions I showered, got ready and he drove me home. We are currently sitting in the parking lot of my building in a full blown make out session. It started with one little kiss then we got out of control.

"Colin... You have to be at practice in 20 minutes. Stop trying to trap me."

"Shanya..." Colin whines back. I give him a look and he looks at me with a pouty face.

"Fine I'll let you go but you owe me kisses."

I laugh at him and get out of the car. "Bye Colin, and let me know when you get there."

"Alright princess. I'll see you later." he says all sad. I smile at him and head inside making my way to the elevator.

I was all smiles in the elevator thinking about 'us'.

"Well well well. Look at you!" Alyssa says when I walk in.

"I look so ratchet right now." I had on one of his t-shirts a pair of his sweats, one of his hats, and sunglasses.

"You look comfortable as hell to be honest."

"I feel comfortable as hell...and these clothes smell just like him omg..." I would have to steal more of his clothes.

Alyssa and I go to my room and get comfortable.

"The whole world thinks that we're together now well we are I guess but the camera showed us on the big screen at the game last night and we were on the big screen and it was all over Twitter, and Instagram. It's all too much but it feels so right." I confess.

"Well if it feels right don't worry about what everyone else thinks. I know you well enough to know that you're too worried about everybody's view on it. If he makes you happy then there should be nothing to worry about."

"I know. But you know I'm paranoid and I just... I don't know. What if he's just using me because he's bored? I already told him how I felt in a way and if he hurts me, he'll know how I feel and I'll just be pathetic forever." This is so stressful. I lay back on the couch and stare up at the ceiling.

I'm talking to the sexiest man in the NFL and I'm complaining and having second thoughts? What is life...

"You really have to stop putting yourself down. He likes you for you. Please grasp that..." Alyssa says exasperated.

"I guess you're right though..." I say dejected.

"Always am though."

I laugh and throw a pillow at her. My phone vibrates and I have a text from Colin.

"At practice. I miss you already but I'll call you when I get home baby doll." He is so cute. I think I may cry.

"Did the bae text you Shanya?" Aly asks

"Yes the bae texted me being all cute telling me he missed me."

"He already has you hooked..."

"This boy got me gone and I haven't even known him that long."

Alyssa and I spend the day watching Netflix and eating takeout. I love days like this. We were watching Spongebob because we're super lame when Alyssa's boyfriend called. I went upstairs to my room and check my phone. More Twitter and Instagram notifications. What else is new...

I creep on Colin's twitter and I see that he retweeted stuff about Camp Taylor and about him getting back on his grind for football season. This brought back another wave of thoughts.

What would happen during football season? Would I be a good football girlfriend? What would he be like after losing a game? Ugh I drive myself crazy sometimes.

I turn on the tv to ESPN and they are showing the 49ers at practice. All of the guys are out on the field doing workouts. Then the camera goes to Colin. He's wearing a 49ers muscle shirt and yellow basketball shorts. Mmm he looks so good. He's gotten a little darker and he's all sweaty. That man is gorgeous. I'm all caught up in the moment when my phone starts to vibrate and I see it's Colin calling.

"Hey there Mr. Quarterback."

"Hey Carolina. How is your night going?"

"Oh it was going just fine. Then it got even better when I saw a certain 49er up close and personal on ESPN."

"Up close and personal huh? Was I lookin' sexy? I know I was."

"You were alright... I mean you're cute or whatever." I say messing with him.

"Carolina what you mean by I'm cute or whatever? I leave you alone to go to practice and then I come back to you sayin' I'm cute or whatever?"

"You mad or nah? I ask giggling.

"Nah because I know you think I'm sexy." he says confidently.

I click my teeth and huff in frustration.

"I can't even lie You looked super sexy." I say giving up.

"I know I am. Thanks for boostin' my ego though."

"You're not welcome. Stop yourself."

"You been sippin' on some Hatorade?"

"But I ain't hatin'"

"Whatever you say Carolina."

I love our little banters like this. It makes me so happy.

"Mmm what you doin' Carolina?"

"Kickin' back watchin' ESPN. What's up with you though?"

"Layin' in bed wishing you were in it with me to be honest."

"Miss me Colin?"

"Yes I do miss you lil' lady. A lot."

"Awww I miss you too Colin." I say all sad. Gosh I'm so pitiful. I need to fall back.

We talked on the phone a little longer until he was yawning every two seconds. His sleepy voice was so sexy. It was all deep and kinda country like. I could listen to him read the phone book and not get tired of it.

"Colin get some sleep. You have practice at 6:30 tomorrow morning. Don't let me keep you up."

"Alright. I'm about to be knocked out. You get some sleep. I know you're tired too. I'll talk to you tomorrow okay?"

"Okay Colin..." I say with a yawn.

"I'll text you tomorrow morning when I get to the facility."

"I may text back eventually. 6:30 early as hell. But put in work tomorrow at practice. Get on that golden state of mind grind. You got a super bowl to win."

"I can already tell this season is gonna be good with you beside me."

"You damn straight it'll be. This season is gonna be good and all but you know I'm a Saints fan but I got you though."

"Better watch it Carolina. You're mine. Not Drew Brees'. Not Cam Newton's. Yeah, I threw him in there too."

I laugh at him and reassure him I he has nothing to worry about.

"Okay, for real this time. We're goin' to sleep."

"Goodnight Colin."

"Aight." he kills me that. "Goodnight princess." I giggle and hang up.

Alyssa comes in and scoots in beside me. I can't believe this is happening. I got my job and my man. Alyssa and I call Matt, our other best friend and tell him everything. All he tells me is to not get pregnant. I reassure him that will not happen any time soon. We talk for a while just catching up. I fall asleep with no worries which was a first. I am so thankful for everything right now.