A Good Kind of Change

Bottled Up Inside

Colin is asleep on top of me and I'm looking through Twitter. People are really observant because now they're talking about my interview with Colin.

"Omg is that the girl Colin was with?"

"Look at Colin... He so fine."

"Bruh his new girl though?"

"In love with them!!!"

The tweets I've seen so far aren't bad at all. I ain't looking no further though. I take a breath and look up Amber's twitter. Why am I doing this...

"Her fake ass. He needs to leave her."

"It's a shame how her life is so sad."

"People try to make you upset because you are what they aren't. Especially when it comes to body shape and physical appearance.

Bitch please fall back.

I had to retweet Colin's tweet "I hear ya talkin..." for that one.

I creep around on twitter a little longer. Colin snores lightly on top me. He is so cute. I'm mad cause he shaved though. That beard was sexy.

I talk to Alyssa about what happened with Amber and she got mad as usual. Amber talked shit about Alyssa but not as much because they hardly talked in the first place. Alyssa as always tells me to cuss her out. I have honestly never cussed anyone out. I usually bite my tongue but Amber is forcing my hand.

"Baby doll..." Colin whines from on top of me.

"Yes Colin..." I whine back at him. Just then lightning flashes across my room and thunder booms. I jump like 53 feet in the air while Colin laughs.

"Shut up..." I mumble.

I feel his arms wrap around me. He starts to kiss my cheek and down my neck.

"It's okay. It's just a storm.."

I feel miserable right now. I'm twenty and scared of a damn thunderstorm. The struggle is real. This is perfect blanket weather. I push Colin off of me and lower the temperature to sixty and instantly my room cools down. I hop under my covers and so does Colin. His arms wrap around me and I turn my head to face him. He plays with my hair while I listen to the rain and think.

"Princess... Stop over thinking. I can tell you're driving yourself crazy. Relax. She's not worth getting mad over. Let her talk if she wants to. It says more about her than it does about you. Silence the haters."

"You just had to say silence the haters..."

"You already know."

"But you're right though. I just can't help it. I let the smallest things take over me... I am living my damn dream life and she's stuck in the past. I cannot let her get to me..."

Easier said than done...

"Princess you know I'm here for you... Anytime you wanna vent to me I'll always listen. Don't keep that bottled up inside."

My phone goes off letting me know I got a text.

"Play that bullshit on twitter about how you living a good life but we both know your miserable ass ain't doing shit but dreamin"

Why me?