A Good Kind of Change

Remember When

Moms and her boyfriend left me in the house alone after a while and now I'm bored. Colin is at practice and Alyssa is with her boyfriend so I'm extra bored, so this means I fall asleep.

I'm back in the Bay and my doorbell rings.

I look through the peephole and I can tell I won't be bored for a while. Trayson has nerve to be standing at my front door. I strongly dislike him. Who does he think he is swooping back into my life because he think he can. My life was peaceful after I just forgot all about him a million years ago.

I open the door with a scowl on my face ready to slap the shit out of him for randomly showing up like this. He's killing my mood.

He stood there at my door like I remembered him two years ago. Brown skin, brown eyes, black hair, 6'4 and a ripped.

"Hey Shanya..." he said awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hi Trayson." I say with no emotion.

"How are you?" he asks shyly.

"I'm good." I reply quickly. I'd rather be in my room complaining about how bored I am.

"Can I come in?" Hell no.

"Yeah I guess..." What have I done?

He steps in and I step back. This is kind of awkward.

He immediately wraps his arms around me and I hug him back lightly.

He pulls back and stares at me. Gosh this is weird.

"You look amazing sweetheart." Trayson says in awe.

"Uh... Thanks." Leave.

He pulls me over to the couch and cuddles me to him. What is this fuckery?

"Shanya I can't begin to explain how much I've missed you. Everyday I think about you and what we had. Gosh I'm so stupid for letting you go sweetheart." Wow.

"Why are you even talking about that?" I ask dumbly. Why is this happening...

"Because I want you, Shanya. I made some choices I shouldn't have and now I'm growing up. I'm trying to change and fix those choices I made. I'm trying to start a better future, with all of the important people in my life. Or with just one very important person." I don't want you.

After an awkward silence he spoke again. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" Uh yeah!

"No you're good. It's just a lot to take in." I say in deep thought. I honestly do not want him.

"Why won't you be mine? I have the looks, the money, and I play baseball. You know you love me more because I play baseball." Petty.

"I'm going to be completely honest and I don't care how you take it. I could never date you again. And you know exactly why."

"Shanya why won't you fucking listen to me!" he shouts. Let's not forget he has a major attitude problem. "I've changed! Why can't you see that? I just want you and only you. Those other girls meant nothing to me, they were just there and I hated being alone at the time. I came all the way here to tell you how I felt hoping you would give me a chance and you won't even listen."

He looks up at me and I'm just awkwardly playing with the hem of my shirt. Soon he just kisses me and I try to pull away but he holds on to my arms. I try to fight him off but his grip gets tighter. What did I do wrong for this crap to happen to me?

I wake up to the sound of the front door being unlocked and I have never loved my mom so much until now. Thank God she decided to come back home now and wake me from that nightmare.

She greets me happily oblivious to just went down in my dream before she walked in. I smile at her and I look at the tv to see highlights of Colin on ESPN. Him playing in high school, college, and all the way up until the game last week. This actually makes me smile and my mood gets a bit brighter.

Memories of a past Thanksgiving flood my mind. I remember when I brought Trayson home that one time. Big mistake.

My mom and Trayson strike up conversation and I try to ignore them. Why can't she see past his foolery? Why can't she just make him leave? If only she knew what has been going on between us.

In the midst of their conversation I hear her ask if he wants to stay over night and of course he says yes. Why can't she make him stay in a hotel? Oh wait, he's my supposed 'loving boyfriend'.

I smash a pillow to my face and my mom pulls it away from my face. She's going on about how fun it will be. I refuse to believe that.

I get up from the couch and go to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and I get even more pissed because I don't even look like my usual happy self.

I wash my face to take off the foundation, eyeliner, and mascara and I instantly feel so much better. Another mistake. There's still a faint red mark on my cheek. I scramble and find one of my old concealers and blended it into my skin so it can't be seen.

I then brush my hair and put it back into a bun and head out of the bathroom.

"Your boyfriend is the best! I'm so happy for you Shanya!"

"I know. He's amazing." I say disinterested.

"You got you a good man Shanya. Don't let him go. He loves you so much so please don't mess this up."

I scrunch my face at her and roll my eyes.

"Fix your attitude Shanya. That's disrespectful." Trayson said.

"Thank you Tray! She's so rude. I don't see how you put up with her." my mom says flipping her hair.

Two long years later and watch my mom bring him up like he was the best thing that ever happened to me.

"Remember when you bought Trayson home two years ago?"

Here we go. Again.