The Shadows of Memory Lane (Book 2) [Gxg]

Chapter 4

The rest of the day went by in a blur. It was pretty boring and dreadful, with that burning feeling in my stomach. Once it was done I rushed to my dorm. I had been invited to multiple parties and usually, I'd love to go. Get drunk. Forget. Not actually. For me drinking meant remembering more clearly. Escaping the present to live in the past. I'd dance all by myself, imagining that I was dancing with Haley. Everything would seem so real. Drinks always played with my extensive imagination. Made me hallucinate. Go crazy. Be free in my mind. Carefree.

But today, I wasn't going to any of those parties. Because today had been different from the start. It had been horrible. It had felt like the void in my body had become more extensive, sucking in my remaining, untainted organs. I didn't want to be in my own head today. Because today it was impure. Tainted by the darkness. And I couldn't afford to let the wisps of darkness take control of the rest of my body. So I'm going to my calm place. My girl... ex-girlfriend's calm place. The beach. How do I get there?

Ha. Observe:

I finished dumping my bags in my dorm. I noticed that somebody had moved in. Oh yeah I was supposed to get a new roomate... damn. Anyways...

I ran out of the campus. I have a motorcycle back at home. My pride and joy. My baby Harley. But I was too over protective of him to bring him with me to uni, so I left him at home. And no I didn't feel like taking my car. So I did the thing any normal person would do... or maybe it's just me...

I ran to the road and when I saw a dude riding his motorcycle (another Harley... not as good as mine... but it would do...), I held out my hand and plastered my best flirtatious smile on my face.

He stopped. (Obviously, nobody can resist my stunning looks *flips hair dramatically... just kidding, chill.)

He pulled his helmet off dramatically, shaking the sweat off his hair... attempting to look sexy (he looked like a dog trying to shake water off its fur... not a cute one either, mind you.)

"Hey babe," he offered me what I suppose was meant to be a dazzling smile, (he is not that bad looking but dude I'm as straight as a circle remember? ) "Want a ride do we?"

"Aww," I offered him another smile, and placed my hand on his shoulder, "You don't need to give me a ride. Don't trouble yourself babe..."

He looked confused.

"Now if you would just get off," more confusion, "Pleaseeeee," at this point my pout was on fleek, I swear.

He gave in and got off. He probably thought I wanted to kiss him or something.

Boys.

"Soo.... why did you want me to get off?" He smirked.

I frowned. My actual emotions flowing out. The act was gone, I swung my leg over the cycle and looked at him. He still looked confused. Gods he is so dumb.

"Buh byee, sweetheart," I said in a sickly sweet voice and was about to speed off but he looked so dumb that I was scared that he would die without supervision. So my sympathy made me give in.

"Fine idiot, get on, behind me. No touching. No funny business. No talking. I don't even want you to breathe."

He nodded and took in a deep breath and obliged. His face went red within seconds.

"I was kidding about the breathing part, you brainless idiot."

I heard him let out the breath he'd been holding as I started the engine.

"Oh yeah... I knew that."

I just shook my head and took off. I felt the wind blowing my hair out of my face. No helmet. No protection. Those were for people who were scared of their own death. Me... I didn't care. Thrill is one of the only things I have left.

I felt the salt in the air and the humidity curl my hair as I neared the beach. Home. The sun was about to dip. I'd had a long day at uni today. I could feel my body immediately adapting to its surroundings. My fingers started to twitch with eagerness to graze the welcoming waves. The white and blue gliding over each other gracefully and meeting as one at the shoreline. I parked near my favorite place and let the poor boy, who was still staring at me with wide eyes, go.

I ran. Ditching my slippers. Ditching my upper clothes, leaving me in my bikini. Feeling the cool wind on my exposed legs, arms and stomach. I felt the sand, coarse against my feet. And I felt it getting damper and damper as I neared the water. And I finally felt it. Relief washed over me, as the waves lapped on my legs. As I felt their hands touching me. Water, my element. My home. I could feel the hands stroking my feet, tickling my toes. Playing with me, welcoming me back. I watched the foam disappear as the blue took over. I watched the blue disappear in white. I walked farther and farther until I was hip deep in water. The only other way I could be carefree. In the water. Where I was completely in control of myself. But was powerless at the same time. The waves could capsize me in a second if they put their minds to it. But they always knew exactly how to act around me. Somehow.

I could feel the fish now. Those I shared my home with. They weaved in and out of my legs. I wished that I could be like them. They seem to have no problems. Or at least they were oblivious to their problems. Or maybe they knew and realized but were wise enough to know that life was too short to be moaning about death.

I danced with the waves. Swaying back and forth. Until I succumbed completely. I fell in the water. Diving gracefully into the deep blue. Watching my house mates swim by me. Sliding through the currents with ease. I follow their movements. I don't need air. Air has never been my element. Water is my element. Always has been. Always will be. My hair flowed around in a mush above my head. And I smiled. Genuinely. I closed my eyes as a sudden pain took over me. Haley. Again. But the pain dissipated as when I opened my eyes, I saw her in front of me. Reaching her hand out to me. My angel. Looking at me with her loving eyes. Looking perfect. Perfect as ever. Her eyes shining with the light that drifted on the surface. I wanted to take her hand so badly. Wanted to go with her. So badly. But I took her hip instead. Pulled her to me. Rested my chin on her shoulder. Closing my eyes and dancing. Humming an incoherent song. Yet it was beautiful in that moment. We were in our own bubble under water. Not needing anything... anyone but each other. I felt my heart thump faster. And our feet bump into each other. Our feet were clad in sand but we couldn't care less. Nothing mattered. She was in my arms. I lost my fingers in her hair. And I felt her lips on my cheek. I was about to pull back, to kiss her properly. To allow our lips to meet after so long. She caressed my cheeks, her eyes overcome by a sudden sadness that had been non-existent before. Only then did I realize, that something was wrong. What was it? Then it hit me... I hadn't been able to feel her heartbeat. And she wasn't breathing. I rushed into the kiss before this moment could end. But I didn't feel her soft lips meet mine. She faded away in front of my eyes... all over again.

Memory #4: They'd go to the beach every Sunday evening with Linda's parents when they were ten. They'd play with a Frisbee, or maybe play some football... or surf and swim. And just as the sun showed signs of aging, they'd go back home. But Linda and Haley sneaked out every single time, to watch the sun set together. To watch one star drown as infinite more appeared. And her parents pretended to not notice each time, but they watched from a distance, smiling...